Talk about cliche beginnings! This, or something similar, has to be the king. Madeleine L'Engle did it in A Wrinkle in Time less than 40 years ago, but who would do it now?
What's the next word? -hot? -wet? -humid?
"Class dismissed. I have an enormous headache in my eye."
Or -sultry?
None of the above. The correct word(s) is - "unusually chilly".
This is part of the opening for the latest critically acclaimed novel, The Surrendered by Chang-rae Lee:
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The journey was nearly over. The night was unusually chilly, the wind sharpened by the speed of the train as it rolled southward through the darkened valley.
Maybe there are a different set of "preferences" in literary fiction than in what most of us write. Or maybe it's because he is previously published.
Any thoughts? (And let us all please play nice and not "throw anyone from the train")
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the wind sharpened by the speed of the train
That makes my meteorological mind hurt.
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It was a bright and sunny night. Damn. I think my watch has stopped again.
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It got rave reviews for it's opening - really!?
Edit: does "it" refer to the wind or the train..?
[This message has been edited by billawaboy (edited March 07, 2010).]
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Edit: does "it" refer to the wind or the train..?
Industry politics most likely account for much of the rest.
This is why I say write, for the most part, what and how you wish, then search out its home or audience...unless you have useful information about a specific editor/publications likes and dislikes, in which case you can tailor to them. Trying to tailor to "the market" as a whole is, in my mostly humble opinion, a largely vain effort.
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The journey was nearly over. The night was unusually chilly, the wind sharpened by the speed of the train as it rolled southward through the darkened valley
Well "The night was" sentence is the second sentence not the first. The first line is much more interesting.
The first line feels like a set up for something catastrophic to happen. Like when a friend is telling a story and starts with "We were almost home when...." And in this case with a train involved, I'm hoping for a train wreck. That alone will make me turn the page. I hope I'm not disappointed.
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T'was a dark and angry Knight. Batman punched hard and connected. The Joker, flying backwards and off balance, crashed through the paper-thin walls of the offices on the sixth floor of Wayne Tower, straight in to the adjacent room. He caromed in to a couple of copiers sending a sheaf of papers into the air.
"What have you done with Fox?" The desperation was apparent, even through the rasp of his voice modulators. He had to be more careful. The Joker could detect the smallest nuances of emotion and use it ingeniously. One of the gifts of his madness.
uh...ok, I did got carried away there. But it was getting interesting. Really!
The problem is, when you say "the night was," the night can be a lot of things. Maybe if you substitute some other verb...
(Oh, yeah. "He was a dark and stormy Knight" ---Snoopy.
Because the market is competitive, there is continual pressure to improve writing and stand out as unique. I my humble amateurish opinion, books like Wrinkle in Time and The Hobbit would actually have a hard time getting published in today's market. Too many editors would reject them.
Marketability and "quality" (if you believe theres such a thing as measurable concepts of quality in subjective artforms) aren't the same thing.
My thing is just that I dont see it as pressure for "improvement" in writing. Its just pressure towards certain styles that are currently "in." I personally enjoy a lot of old stuff that probably wouldn't fit the current market a lot more than I do much of whats out there now. For instance, I'm reading and loving Perdido Street Station, but stylistically it has a lot of similarities with older stuff I like, such as Lovecraft.
On the other hand, I think fantasy writers like it as probably the finest example of world-building. I doubt any of them read beowulf or what have you...
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The night, dark, stormy, wailed like a black cougar hit by a mazarati.
Hehehe...I can feel the cringe all the over here....
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On the other hand, I think fantasy writers like it as probably the finest example of world-building. I doubt any of them read beowulf or what have you...
Speak for yourself. And yes, the part of THE HOBBIT dealing with the dragon was largely lifted from Beowulf almost intact.
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On the other hand, I think fantasy writers like it as probably the finest example of world-building. I doubt any of them read beowulf or what have you...
Listen!
Beowulf, and the Anglo-Saxon Chronicles, and the Ecclesiastical History of the English People....
Query: Does basing one's world-building on historical events, cultures or works of literature mean one hasn't actually created a new world? If so, how much "original" material are we as writers required to bring to our fantasy before it becomes fantasy and not historical fiction?
After reading this whole discussion, I'm really tempted to start my next short story with "It was a dark and stormy night..." :P
That's all I meant. really!
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And yes, I know WIT begins "It was a dark and stormy night." I was referring to it being a cliche "dark night" beginning.
Well, I always thought she used the cliche beginning on purpose, to be funny.
I suppose you all know about the Bulwer-Lytton contest inspired by that very opening in Bulwer-Lytton's novel, PAUL CLIFFORD:
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It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents—except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.
I believe the contests, plus Snoopy's writing attempts, have made the opening a cliche as much as anything.
Edited to add:
Maybe we could have a writing challenge for the contest, since this year's deadline is coming up (15 April 2010).
Any volunteers to run the challenge?
[This message has been edited by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (edited March 08, 2010).]
Now with that cleared up, I would like to offer the opening lines of Mr. Lee's first novel, Native Speaker; it opens much more "hookily":
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The day my wife left she gave me a list of who I was. I didn't know what she was handing me. She had been compiling it without my knowledge for the last year or so we were together. Eventually I would understand that she didn't mean the list as exhaustive, something complete, in any way the sum of my character or nature. Lelia was the last person who would attempt anything even vaguely encyclopedic.
I like that a lot better than his most recent opening. I have heard that his most recent novel (as a whole, not "just" the opening) is very good and probably quickly gets better than the opening sentences. This opening, however, would make me want to keep reading. And this is how he got published.