"Stop critting me that way," said Ellie. "Fine!" Frank said.
Is there anything to that? I looked in a couple of recent mags and saw a mix of the two styles, perhaps favoring the name-first style.
But this seems awkward to me:
"Stop critting me that way," said she.
Here is a good tagline post, but it doesn't address this issue:
http://www.hatrack.com/forums/writers/forum/Forum1/HTML/003845.html
I also read somewhere that it's considered archaic, but for what reasons, I have no idea.
[This message has been edited by Foste (edited November 15, 2010).]
Aside from personal preference, I don't think it matters much which you go with. I've never seen any 'said she' tags that I can remember, but that doesn't mean they aren't used. Does it sound a little old fashioned to me? Sure, but maybe that's a voice you would purposefully want to cultivate at some point.
Think of it this way:
"Can you hear me now?" SAID frank.
"Can you hear me now?" FRANK said.
It's a small detail in the scheme of things and, yes, the inverse structure can be used to break up cadence now and again, but for my money "said Frank" is just so yesterday ;-)
That said, "said Frank" does tend to give a piece something of an archaic or fabulist feel. It can be useful for setting a mood in that sense. Like most tools, it should be used intentionally, not simply because it's the first tool you found in the toolbox.
Now, if there is not a proper name, to me, it reads like a pirate is telling the story:
We was being tossed about the ship when a chest lid opened and a girl sprang out. "Suprise," said she, and we were at that.
The captain was not the least shaken. "Argh, can't take her anywhere," said he.
I felt better, but over the years, I've often wondered about it...but I've seen several SF books recently that do just that so I think I'm on secure ground for doing so.
Other than that abovementioned feeling...I can't think of any reason to prefer one way over the other.
I'd say go with 'Frank said'. This is what I typically do, though I think it is okay to throw in the occasional 'said Frank' to break things up.
quote:
Place the character's name or pronoun first in a speaker attribution (Dave said,). Reversing the two (said David) though is often done but less professional.
...as close to an authority as I could find on the subject.
quote:
Well, to me "said he/she/I" sounds somewhat archaic, but if it's not a pronoun following "said," then I don't have that problem.I just went through one of my stories looking at each instance of "said" as a dialog tag. The vast majority were "--- said." The two instances of "said ---" were both in cases where the tag interrupted the dialogue.
I then went and looked at every time I interrupted the dialogue with a tag, and here's what I found:
"Oh," she said. "There is ..."
"But sir," said Vanadia, "We've ..."
"Well, sir," she said, "I know ..."
"... for you," she said. "I have ..."
"... and gentlemen," said the announcer, "please give ..."If the interrupting tag used a pronoun, I used "--- said," otherwise I used "said ---."
Of course, that was just one of my stories, so I picked another, and this is what I found.
There were no instances of "said [pronoun]."
When the tag interrupted dialogue but did not use a pronoun, five times I used "said ---," and twice I used "--- said."
When the tag was before the dialogue, it was always "--- said."
When the tag followed dialogue, four times I used "said ---," and once I used "--- said."
So it looks like my general instinct is to keep "said" next to the dialogue unless I'm using a pronoun, and when the tag interrupts the dialogue, to use "said ---."
IMHO, the book is wrong unless it is only talking about the use of tags with pronouns.
Now all I need is a plot.
[This message has been edited by WouldBe (edited November 15, 2010).]
Read those - nay - listen to those. Tell me if you find it distracting or just right.
I think said he can be perfect if the story permits it. It makes me feel closer to what's going on than he said. He said creates in my mind a distance.
But mixing them doesn't feel right. It's like crossing the streams and one should never do that.
Axe
quote:
... in which the author ended every single dialog with the 'said Frank' motif...
Yeah. Whatever you do, you've gotta break that up and not use "said" anything with each and every line of dialog.
quote:
Yeah. Whatever you do, you've gotta break that up and not use "said" anything with each and every line of dialog.
Exactly what I told the author. The other problem had been that it was a four of five way conversation, so the tags were necessary to keep track of the speaker. My advice to the author was not only to mix up the dialog tag but use body language action tags.
I am glad this was brought up, as I realized I was relying almost exclusively on "said Nym" when I needed a tag.
*****
Footnote discussion addition: If you've written a lengthy stretch of dialog, say, anything more than half a page of short responses, and identified the speakers with nothing else but "So-and-so said," you should consider a rewrite.
Break it up a little...describe what the characters are doing while they're speaking, even if it's something like "Frank moved over to the window," or "Frank stood up," or "Frank sat down."
Doing this you accomplish two things: (1) You've identified the speaker, and (2) You've made the reader see that the scene is not just a static tableau of talking heads.
(There's a school of thought, best exampled by the works of Barry B. Longyear, that a writer shouldn't use "said" anything---just sentences of description inserted between dialog. But I've always thought that's going a bit too far...)