I would appreciate critiques on my short story, which could be classified horror. Word count is approx. 6,500. As always,I'd be happy to offer a critique in return. Here are the first thirteen:
“Christ, Jack, I can’t believe how gross this is!” grumbled Dylan, tossing another shovel full of crap into the can. “Isn’t there some sort of rule about the punishment fitting the crime?”
“I guess trespassing in one abandoned building equals cleaning out another in New Jersey,” I muttered.
“Ugh, what in the hell is that?”
I peered down into his latest scoop. “Rat. That’s rat.”
“No way! It just looks like…”
“Old rat; well aged for that scrap of old shag rug look.”
Dylan crinkled his nose and gave the shovel a swing. Its contents, mostly crumbled plaster, scraps of wallpaper, and ex-rat, went sailing through the air to land next to the dented trash barrel.
“Close, but no stuffed bear,” I said.
Dylan grunted and leaned on his shovel, wiping the perspiration from his brow. “How much more time do we have down here?”
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
Horror eh? I'll try it.
Posted by teddyrux (Member # 1595) on :
I'll give it a read. I will warn you, I've never been into horror,but I'm willing to give it a read.
Rux :}
Posted by djvdakota (Member # 2002) on :
I'm game. Send it on.
Posted by Hildy9595 (Member # 1489) on :
Thanks, folks. I'll send it along later today.
BTW, Teddy, I don't have your email, so if you would still like to take a look, please click on mine and let me know what it is. Thanks!
[This message has been edited by Hildy9595 (edited May 24, 2004).]
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
Hildy, AOL is bouncing my messages again. I get yours just fine...I don't remember what address I used last time to get around this.
Posted by Hildy9595 (Member # 1489) on :
Sorry, Survivor...I can't seem to convince AOL that I actually want some emails from Hotmail. I'll send you an alternate email address.