Would someone be willing to look ove a brief description of a walled city? Total words = 219. First few lines follow: ---- The City could not be more different. It has been described as just a gray Keep on a rock, surrounded by a wall, two rivers and a ditch. However it does qualify as one of the great defensive fortresses of the West. A curtain wall circumscribes most of the rocky island that the City occupies. Nineteen round towers fortify the wall, two at the east (and only) gate and the remainder somewhat evenly dispersed along the circumference. Two more, taller, stand inside the gate and overlook it and the great City Square. Man-high walls... ------ If so, please let me know and I'll email it to you.
Posted by TruHero (Member # 1766) on :
What would you like to know, specifically? Do you have any questions you want answered? or just a general overview.
Also, does the city have a name, and do you use it in your description? A name always helps, especially a good name that will enhance the description. Send it over and I'll look at it, but include some details of what you are looking for. .doc or .rtf format please, e-mail is in my profile.
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
Send it over.
Posted by Kolona (Member # 1438) on :
Feel free to send it. May I ask what the POV is and whether this is part of a prologue or info within a story?
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
Done. Thanks!
I am deconstructing a prologue to salvage usable bits into the text of a first chapter. The city is called The City of Silver, but that's just a use-name for now. Obviously it won't work in the novel. Thanks for pointing out the need for a good name. All I want is a quick opinion on whether you as a reader (understanding that you aren't seeing the rest) feel that I have described a town adequately for its first introduction. Events that dictate the rest of the novel take place in and around the city in the first several chapters. As those events unfold there will be more description, but only to support the events that are unfolding.
Posted by goatboy (Member # 2062) on :
I'll look if you want.
Posted by RFLong (Member # 1923) on :