if you don't know what i'm talking about, i'm talking about the story that Month in a Moment belongs to, the story i am trying to write using the story-teller device... and i'm literally using the story-teller device, heck, the guy is a story-teller :P

anyways, my ideas so far are to write a prologue which is set after the events of the story, where we are in the pov of some unknown person who is among a crowd where a story-teller is about to tell a story, now, this is futuristic, it may not sound like it with the snippet i have for you here, but whatever... i'll then progress from describing the scene, the pov's arrival and situation, and his take on his world. then go into a little introductory dialogue between the story-teller and his audience, which i have a rough idea of that i'm posting here:

"Ah, so ye've come to me to hear a story..." began the storyteller. "What kind of story ye want to hear? One of love? Or would ye prefer one of action? How'd'ye like to hear one which'd cause ye to ponder, and to think: What if?" The storyteller was a man, one of no obvious age or origin, a man who spoke words of worlds both ancient, and worlds yet to come. He was one of those men who are in such a trade as they truly belong.
"All of the above!" came the resounding shout of the crowd. "Give us a story as only you could give!"
"Alas m'lads, ye know not what ye ask of me." The man said. "What ye ask I might give, naught that'd do you, for I have such a story, a true one, one of which only I know the whole truth of."
For a moment I thought here we go, another of the everyday, common, mundane street peddlers, this one just happening to be a man selling his stories, but then, he said something else, and it caused me to stick around.
"However, m'friends, this story is not for all ears to hear. Indeed it may be too much for some o' ye to handle. Methinks it a story that needs telling, even to those who are not in a position to hear." I thought, how remarkable, a storyteller who freely admits he may fall on deaf ears, yet goes on anyways. "Listen to m'words lads, and heed me well, for this story is no simple peddlers ware, yea, this story is made for the truth."

----------

i would then switch into the storytellers POV and start setting up the world in which the story takes place, and a couple of main characters. (besides the secret main character, the storyteller, who's real relationship to the story isn't revealed until the end, perhaps not even in the same book, i am seriously thinking this story will be a trilogy)

-------

that is what my prologue consists of... what do you folks think? i know it's rough, and needs a lot of fleshing out of details yet. would anyone like to read the complete prologue when i finish with it? if so, i would need to know emails or something, since i'm not supposed to post too much on these boards.
 

oh, and yeh, i skipped over the start of the prologue in favor designing the dialogue, if you had read my ranting in the beginning i had said it was my intention of embedding this dialogue fragment inside of the prologue, with scene info before and after
 

I think it sounds great. Maybe you were over-concerned about using the storyteller device (better than not concerned enough). The premise as you've described it seems solid to me. The POV character's thoughts don't quite flow with the storyteller's dialogue--they feel inserted, if you know what I mean. But as you say, rough draft, here. I'm sure you'll smooth it out.

I don't mind a bit the first line is dialogue. For stories that have a storyteller, they nearly always begin with the storyteller saying, "Let me tell you a story..." so I think this is appropriate. By introducing a POV character as a tool to describe the storyteller's appearance could backfire on you, because readers will assume they are to invest themselves in the first POV character they meet. Does the POV character in the very beginning serve any other purpose? By meeting him (I assume it's a man, there are no clues) in the beginning, I fully expect to touch base with him at some later point. Kind of like how, in The Princess Bride, the story is interrupted from time to time with the kid and the grandfather (storyteller). If your POV character's life is changed somehow as a result of hearing the story, even better.

[This message has been edited by Magic Beans (edited November 01, 2004).]
 

My apologies. Even when I'm well informed I can only give my un-expert opinion. I repent in dust and ashes.
 

hmmm... good points magic beans... i like it when people tell me WHY i should make the adjustments they suggest.

about the women... well, i really prefer not to touch women for a pov, because i feel i'd do women no justice in such a position.

about feeling inserted, well, i really hadn't thought of that, but since you brought it up, i'll have to work on that.

as for the first line being dialogue: it is not my intention of starting out with dialogue, however, i don't see anything wrong with doing it, i usually feel more comfortable with starting out with an action, whether it is of a character, or of a part of nature.

as for using the initial pov character, i wasn't exactly sure how i was going to tie him in, but i'm certain i'll reach back and tie him in somehow... good point however that the reader might want to invest in the initial pov character... would it be ok for me to make him a minor ornament whose life is changed in some way after hearing the story: ie, in the epilogue? i thought so, but now that you bring up reader's expectations... hmm...

to chris:

i'm sorry if i came off a little hard, i didn't mean to, however i find it unnerving to see someone tell me i shouldn't start with something i didn't intend to start with anyways... forgive me?

i have a tendancy to sound hard, and perhaps i am a little hard by nature... i should work on that
 

Yep.
 

On the idea of a changed POV character watching the storyteller: interestingly, we don't really see Fred Savage become A Better Person at the end of the Princess Bride. He just tolerates kissing a little bit better. Nevertheless, that technique of popping out of the story once in a while might be just the thread you're looking for to string it all together. And regardless of how much the POV character has or has not changed, bringing him or her in at the very end will nicely bookend the storyteller's part and perhaps help provide a sense of closure to your intrepid reader.