It does seem I like to write about ordinary objects gone bad.
Probably Fantasy/Thriller thing. 5500 words. Some cursing... nothing vulgar, however.
The title, which is a stand in (every story needs a title), is a compromise between my wife and me. She wanted "Mr. Happy Face" and I wanted "Time Heals All"... and none of these I'm particularly chuffed with. But for now, it'll do. If anyone who reads thinks of something better, please let me know.
***
The telephone mocked Walter. Antiquated, it sat on the coffee table looking smug: a yellow “happy face” printed onto the rotary dialer silently grinned. Mr. Happy Face taunted him now by not ringing, when he was ready for it. Walter wrung his arthritic hands in anticipation.
Not that he wanted the phone to ring. If he never heard the damn thing make a sound again... well, that would suit him fine. Nevertheless, he knew Mr. Happy Face would ring; it was only a matter of time before he would have to lift the receiver off of the cradle and hear his son’s voice on the other end.
He wanted to unplug the phone from the wall, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Maggie might call, and if he didn’t answer the phone, she would be on the next flight home to make sure nothing terrible had happened.
But something terrible is happening, Maggie.
Oh, and you want to be careful with interim titles: they have a tendency to resist change. I never could think of anything better than "The Price of a Memory", so it looks like I'll be keeping it.
--Mel
I'm intrigued, send it over.
Joe
Thanks, everyone.
Another possible title is: "In Due Time"
Just came up with it. Please, add it to the list of prospectives.
Barney wanted to name their new yacht: Sea Princess. Fred wanted to call her Nautical Queen.
They finally decided... on Nau-Sea.
Can I be a bit picky? I dont really like the phrase "..wrung his arthritic hands.." It seems to interrupt the flow of the words there. Maybe its the word arthritic.
Or maybe I'm being a fool and needs be slapped.
I like the idea though. Its a story thats going somewhere! 
Well, I chose arthritic to help imply Walter's advanced age without actually info-dumping it, like: The sixty-year old wrung his hands. I could have easily chosen "aged" or "moderately wrinkled" or anything else. Besides, Walter's past jobs were those that required heavy usage of his hands, possibly leading to arthritis in his later years. Or maybe he just cracked his knuckles a lot. One can only speculate.
Anyone else have a problem with that phrase?
Also I didn't think the title was brilliant, but it didn't seem cartoonish.
[This message has been edited by Wenderella (edited April 06, 2005).]
I felt it was a lot of words about whether a phone was going to ring or not & not much going on yet.
I'll still like to read the whole thing though if that's ok. It's hooked me. No doubt about that. I NEED to know what the phone call is about and what is up with Maggie.
But a bit too much, I want the phone to ring, I dont want the phone to ring, should I answer it when it does....
I think I need to read more to be sure.
quote:
I hate to say this, because nobody else has said anything remotely negative so far....but I wasn't too sure about it.
Don't hate to say anything. Say what you feel. That's the point of Hatrack. Your opinion doesn't make it any less valid than anyone else's. It's only opinion.
I appreciate your concerns, by the way. There's a fine line between painting an adequate picture or someone's indecision and angst and overdoing it.