I would like some fresh eyes to take a look at this and see if it makes sense. Horror, 2800 words.
------------------- Gerald heard the scratching noise as he cleared the table after dinner. He paused, plate in hand, to look at Christina. She stood with her head cocked, trying to locate the source of the sound.
"It sounds like it's coming from your front door," he said.
He followed her to the door. When she opened it, a tabby cat darted in. One ear was scarred and torn. It looked up at them and uttered a plaintive miaow. "Where did you come from?" Christina asked. The cat rubbed against her legs, purring.
Gerald stepped out the door and looked around. The muted roar of a lawnmower throbbed through the dusty evening. At the end of the block, old Mr. Ericson fussed over his lawn. It was the focus of his life, and worth every penny of his water bill, he insisted.
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Any takers?
--Mel
Posted by Isaiah13 (Member # 2283) on :
Feel free to send it my way. I think I could get it back to you by Wednesday.
Posted by autumnmuse (Member # 2136) on :
I could give it a read if you like.
Posted by MCameron (Member # 2391) on :
Thank you Isaiah13 and autumnmuse. I've sent it to you.
--Mel
Posted by Dude (Member # 1957) on :
I wouldn't mind reading this one, but it will probably be about a week before I can get it back to you. Send to fsilv01s@uis.edu.
Posted by MCameron (Member # 2391) on :
On the way. Thanks for looking at it.
--Mel
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
I can take a look.
Posted by MCameron (Member # 2391) on :
Sent. Thanks for looking. I did some revision so it is now just over 3000 words.