This is topic "A Little Aviophobia, Among Other Things" - 1st. 13 of 23 lines (readers requested) in forum Fragments and Feedback for Short Works at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.


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Posted by Inkwell (Member # 1944) on :
 
Hey, folks. This is an extremely short piece I wrote only a few minutes ago. The idea popped into my head the other day, during my sociology course (at which time I was forced to write up a shabby outline). The entire story is only 23 lines long...I guess you could call it flash fiction. As far as genre goes, I'd say it's nothing more than plain old fiction (though some may consider it fantasy, depending on individual interpretation). I didn't want to just post all 23 lines unless I received a go-ahead from enough people (or better yet, from Kathleen). It just seems silly to me to send out e-mails for a story that's only 23 lines long. Ah, well. Here are the first 13. If you'd like to read the rest, or want to deliberate on my posting the whole piece here, please say so.

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“A Little Aviophobia, Among Other Things”


I hate flying. My friends and relatives think I’m just plain paranoid, but there is a very good reason for my fear of aircraft and being sealed inside them at 30,000 feet. Every time I jump in a plane, it’s for a long trip…usually across an ocean. During the flight I try to keep my mind off my jitters by pounding away at the keyboard of my laptop. That’s my livelihood, y’know. I’ve written quite a few different pieces in my time, covering a lot of stylistic territory. I’m doing magazine articles now, and somehow have remained freelance without running out of gas money at the beginning of every week. When I’m not sleeping or eating, I’m writing. However, every time I open the lid of my notebook and start punching keys while flying high above terra firma, something bad happens. And I mean every time.

It starts with that strange, universal sensation that one is being watched. You know what I’m talking about? It feels like, as I’m writing, someone is watching my every move; listening to my every thought.
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And just so you know (if you couldn't tell already), this is not about me. I do not frequently cross oceans, and am most certainly not a veteran freelance writer. Most importantly, I am not balding.


Inkwell
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"The difference between a writer and someone who says they want to write is merely the width of a postage stamp."
-Anonymous
 


Posted by HSO (Member # 2056) on :
 
I'll read.

quote:
Most importantly, I am not balding.

So what if you were? There are much more important things to worry about than the present status of one's hairline. The only time it's an issue is when one goes to great lengths to cover it up via a combover. That's when we notice things like that.

Hair does not make the man... and frankly, most people could care less if someone else is going bald.

On to the subject of dating, well... There are some women who get a bit snippety over a man's hairloss... but not as many as some think. In fact, it's probably the easiest thing to overlook.

Anyway... the whole hair loss thing is silly. I find it hard to imagine why men would spend so much money on preventing it. The amount of money one can save by NOT having hair is probably worth going bald. Think about it, no expensive shampoos or conditioners... basic haircuts (no wash, just a trim) are getting truly expensive these days...

Aside from the obvious benefits of being a natural sunblock and helping to keep the skull cap warm (hats help too), we don't need it. We are probably better off without it.

We could end hair lice forever if everone were bald.

Really, it's silly for men to worry over hair. I'd rather worry about something else...


 


Posted by limo (Member # 2470) on :
 
Well, yes
The whole balding thing, I hate to agree with HSO, is overrated. As long as you don't have a combover no one will stone you. And the whole shaved head thing can look very good. Of course if you're a girl it's a whole other issue. And comb overs don't really work for women I don't know why.

With your 23 lines I'll read but I can't promise to say anything useful.

li

 


Posted by shadowynd (Member # 2077) on :
 
I'd love to read. That may be just what I need to get back into crit'ing... short and sweet! *g*

Susan

 


Posted by Three Minute Egg (Member # 2523) on :
 
Send it, I'll be happy to read.
 
Posted by NewsBys (Member # 1950) on :
 
Sounds fun, I'd like to read it too.
 
Posted by Keeley (Member # 2088) on :
 
I'll read.

I don't mind a receding hairline and I'd like to add that I happen to like gray/white hair on men. I find it as sexy as red, brown, black, blond hair or any variation thereof. In fact, I get majorly turned off if I find out a guy I thought was attractive colors his hair. It's tied in to my beliefs about honesty and self-confidence which are far more important to me than age.
 


Posted by HSO (Member # 2056) on :
 
quote:
Of course if you're a girl it's a whole other issue. And comb overs don't really work for women I don't know why.

I couldn't possibly speak for women. But I can say that combovers don't work for men either.
 


Posted by Judas (Member # 2526) on :
 
What did I miss...? Why was balding even mentioned?
 
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
 
Cause Inkwell said he wasn't.

This looks fun, but I'm not really up for it on this round. I will flag one phrase, "start punching keys while flying high above terra firma," as not being all there for some reason or other.
 


Posted by Elan (Member # 2442) on :
 
I'm thinking he doth protest too much over being balding... lol...

I have never once heard a woman complain about a man being unattractive because he's bald. In fact, I've heard several say the opposite - Captain Jean Luc Picard comes to mind as someone who set the females I know to fluttering.

No, women are far more prone to complain about men who come on like Leisure Suit Larry; you know the type - they think they are hot s**t on a silver platter, but they are really just cold poop on a paper plate.

But back to the topic at hand, the one thing the beginning made me think of was that Twilight Zone episode with William Shatner, where the monster thing is crawling around on the wing of the airplane and ripping it apart and he's the only one that sees it... other than that, it was intriging enough for me to be interested in reading the rest.

Go ahead and send it over. I'll take a look if you like.

 




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