this is really just a list of characters& the basic plot. please review and help me find a better title.
John Calate- Shift (shape-shifting and transforms) Alex Blare- Golem (able to turn to stone and seperate himself) James Rettop-Cat (abilities of a cat, nine lives.Retumpoc-Dome (techno-genious and main villain in the book) Robert Brown- Ninjitsu (shadow jumper, ninja) the plot (such as it is)- everyone just arrived at the Academy, its the first day, when Golem picks a fight with Cat. Shift and Ninjitsu come and help Cat, after that Shift, Ninjitsu& Cat are best friends, and Golems rival. Dome is a teacher who is recruiting for the Villain academy and the book is about stopping Dome from destroying the school, and all the while pranks and puns are pulled and a Goerge-of-the-Jungle style narrator will occasionaly speak.
any help would be appreciated. (new title, more characters, good lines for the book, that sort of thing.)
Posted by pantros (Member # 3237) on :
Don't introduce all the characters at once.
Start with one.
Start where the plot starts. Fill in the back story of the characters later.
The characters and the plot you present here seem very viable.
The over the top cheesy humor will be tough to maintain quality and sell in the written fiction market. Maybe aim for more of an Aspirin style parody.
Even when writing humor, your jokes must contribute to the plots. (Early jokes can be used just to establish character, but still can contribute to the plot)
Posted by The Fae-Ray (Member # 3084) on :
I think if you're going to make them friends, don't make it because they helped the Cat guy out. That's too cliche for me. It seems like every book I read nowadays involves that. Instead, make it something more gradual. Like, maybe they're dorm mates or partners in a class. Not terribly interesting, and still very common, but a little less cliched to me.
Posted by dreadlord (Member # 2913) on :
Ive been thinking about that for a while now, and I was thinking that Cat gets helped but doesnt appreciate it, saying that he "works alone" then Shift and cat are partnered for a science project, and the bridge is made.
another thought= what about some new characters? like Pheonix, Thunderfist, and Glitch?
Posted by The Fae-Ray (Member # 3084) on :
Much better.
And as for the new characters...
If you mean as main characters, well, you can only have so many of them. If they were side characters that would be a good idea. And I like the names. All apart from Phoenix... and that's just a personal thing. ~shivers~
Posted by pantros (Member # 3237) on :
You will have a hard time getting anything with a hero named pheonix published until x-men3 is a faded memory.
Posted by Elan (Member # 2442) on :
The entire premise smells a lot like X-men to me... I'd have to see something unique about this to keep from making the mental comparison.
Posted by dreadlord (Member # 2913) on :
how about this: they are in SCHOOL!!! and, its something of a comedy routine, so maybe... nah, that wont do it. that is what I came here for. Ideas. did you or did you not read the intro? I know I always do, so...
