The Peachwood Sword
Cory could no more sleep than could the sea. Its cold breath raised goosebumps along his bare arms while he sweated under his leather tunic. He paced the beach restlessly. Crabs scuttled out of his path. He kicked aside a severed arm. Someone’s from the village or a sea rover’s? Too dark to tell. All the steel was gone, picked up by the women and carried away with their men’s bodies. Even the arrowheads had been broken off and taken. Just the shafts and feathers remained from the battle this afternoon. Those, and pieces of bodies waiting for the tide to sweep the strand clean. Cory kept on walking, looking for something he couldn’t name, only feel the lack of.
In the simplicity of the fighting he had learned he
[This message has been edited by arriki (edited November 18, 2007).]
Just want to know what you are expecting so I can provide some useful feedback.
You can e-mail me at the address listed in my Hatrack profile.
Thanks, and I look forward to it,
Thane
Here are my thoughts on the first thirteen; mostly little nits with wording (excellent imagery, by the way).
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Cory could no more sleep than could the sea. Its cold breath raised goosebumps along his bare arms while he sweated under his leather tunic. He paced the beach restlessly. Crabs scuttled out of his path. He kicked aside a severed arm. Someone’s from the village or a sea rover’s? Too dark to tell. All the steel was gone, (1) picked up by the women and carried away with their men’s bodies. Even the arrowheads had been broken off (2) and taken. Just the shafts and feathers remained from the battle this afternoon (3). Those, and pieces of bodies waiting for the tide to sweep the strand clean. Cory kept on walking, looking for something he couldn’t name, only feel the lack of.
In the simplicity of the fighting he had learned he (4)
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1. Watch your wording - I read this at first as the women had masculine bodies. 
2. omit 'and taken'
3. Unnecessary; if the arrowheads are gone, of course the shafts and arrows would just be left.
4. I have trouble with the term 'simplicity'. Is battle ever simple? I know what you're trying to say, but simplicity doesn't seem to be the best fit.
quote:
Cory could no more sleep than could the sea. Its cold breath raised goosebumps along his bare arms while he sweated under his leather tunic. He paced the beach [restlessly.<-- not only redundant, but an adverb. You covered it with the opening sentence.] Crabs scuttled out of his path. [He kicked aside a severed arm.<--[Pretty cold. Not drawing any sympathy from me.] Someone’s from the village or a sea rover’s? Too dark[It's dark?] to tell. [All the steel was gone, picked up by the women and carried away with their men’s bodies. Even the arrowheads had been broken off and taken. How does he know this?] Just the shafts and feathers remained from the battle this afternoon. Those, and pieces of bodies waiting for the tide to sweep the strand clean.<--[Huh?] [Cory kept on walking, looking for something he couldn’t name, only feel the lack of.<--Huh?]
In the [simplicity of the fighting<--I've never heard fighting/battle called "simple"]. he had learned he
There's no doubt that you've painted a scene of a battle's aftermath--though, to me, it's still a little vague--but, there's no hook.
I like the reference to the villagers (what village?) taking all of the metal, but it seemed somehow disjointed. It took three sentences/fragments to get this clear, and I don't habv any idea how he knows. I guess, if he'd seen the women and children stripping the arrows if their heads, I'd feel different.
I don't feel any personality, except that his cold when it comes the debris in the aftermath of a battle. I don't feel like he's a part of these people, and I have nobody to connect him to, so it looks like he's a scavenger looking for what he can collect from the dead. Not a good picture, and not someone I care about.
The "Cory kept on walking, looking for something he couldn’t name, only feel the lack of." is totally ambiguous. Reads like the end of every episode of the Incredible Hulk T.V. series (and every beginning).
Hope this helps.
PS - If you want me to have a look at the whole thing--and there's no rush--you can shoot it over to me. As a writer, I trust you enough to read on, since I've read your work.