I've written a childrens story/ poem and I am more proud of it than anything I've ever written. Ever. I'm looking for an Illustrator. If any of you are interested I'll send you a full copy of the story to see if it's something you would be willing to play with. Ill send it even if you just want to read it.It is a vocal read, and I could use help with the grammar particulars. It is finished though, and in my opinion, Awesome. Here is a brief taste.
Well, love is blind, or so they say, the story is often told. The heroine is often kind, but her hair is often gold. The hero, oh, a dashing prince, is charming in his way, But where among the many pages are the normal every day?
Posted by Patrick James (Member # 7847) on :
Awesome opening. I can see where this is going and like the concept.
My brother is a superb artist but he deals in realsim not childrens stories, otherwise I would jump at this. Or I should say: Make HIM jump at this.
Edited to add: Good luck in finding an artist.
[This message has been edited by Patrick James (edited April 04, 2008).]
Posted by skadder (Member # 6757) on :
Sorry to point it out but your meter is off. I have been writing poetry a bit of late and was knocked back because my meter was out. If you speak it out loud you can hear where it stumbles.
Well, love is blind, (4) or so they say, (4) the story is often told.(7)
The heroine (4) is often kind, (4) but her hair is often gold.(7)
The hero, oh, (4) a dashing prince, (4) is charming in his way,(6)
But where among(4) the many pages (5) are the normal every day? (7)
I think you should reduce the last line of each cluster to six syllables as it seems to sit with the meter more naturally.
The easier solution is to find a way to make the one with 6 syllables somehow 7. (and reduce the one with 5 to 4)
e.g.
Well, love is blind, (4) or so they say-- (4) a story often told.(6)
The heroine (4) is often kind, (4) her hair is often gold.(6)
The hero, oh, (4) a dashing prince, (4) is charming in his way,(6)
But where among(4) the many words (4) is found the 'every day'? (6)
[This message has been edited by skadder (edited April 04, 2008).]
Posted by shimiqua (Member # 7760) on :
Thanks Skadder that helps. ~Sheena
Posted by JustInProse (Member # 7872) on :
I like it, and agree with skadder's revision, the meter was throwing me off a bit as well. I have a friend who is an excellent artist. He does graphic design, website design, has created tattoos for a lot of people in our town, and is just starting his first childrens book.
Also, I would love to read it, so send it on over.
Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :
Why are you looking for an illustrator?
Are you planning to self-publish?
Posted by skadder (Member # 6757) on :
How long is it?
Posted by shimiqua (Member # 7760) on :
How does one publish a childrens book? I thought it would be best to have it as finished as possible before shopping it around. My inexperience is showing I guess. ~Sheena
And thanks again for the meter help I wrote this story vocally, so the meter works the way I say it, but am now working on expressing it nonverbaly.
Posted by shimiqua (Member # 7760) on :
It's 214 words long.
Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :
You send the text to a picture book publisher and let them find the illustrator for it.
Posted by skadder (Member # 6757) on :
You need to ensure the meter is correct because others will stumble as they will be unsure when you stretch a syllable or contract one to keep the rhythm. It would be more like a song without the music which is in your head.
Write the poem out and count off the syllables and mark them at the end of each line to see where you need to nip and tuck. It will sound better if it works to a consistent meter.
Posted by skadder (Member # 6757) on :
Send it my way if you want I will look at it.
Posted by shimiqua (Member # 7760) on :
