Hatrack River Writers Workshop: Short Film good enough for Kid's Book? (Realism)

This is topic Short Film good enough for Kid's Book? (Realism) in forum Fragments and Feedback for Short Works at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by Tim Young (Member # 8421) on :

Here's another piece of realism for anyone who's interested. The catch is that I already made it as a short film. I think the story would make a good kid's book. What do you think? Here's the URL for the film:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmCVll1yVrQ

(I hope I'm not breaking any rules by posting that URL. I'm sure some helpful person will let me know if I am.)

Thanks,
Tim

Posted by skadder (Member # 6757) on :

Okay, Kathleen, send in the robo-ninjas--he's gone too far.

Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :

Well, I don't have any problem with someone posting a link to their work, whether short story or novel or video. That doesn't mean we're publishing it here.

I do have a bit of an issue with Billy's mom shaking her daughter when she's been injured from a fall out of a tree. Shaking is a pretty scary thing to do when you don't know the extent of someone's injuries. Moving an injured person at all can be dangerous.

Posted by JCarroll (Member # 8061) on :

The moral of the story is good and the text is strong so I'd say you have the beginnings of a great children's book. I would read it to my kids if I had any.

But you're going to need to find one heck of an artist to make it work. There are some points where the story is just too complicated for me to envision as a single illustration or series of such.

Case in point: when Billy thinks about the time Rondo got in trouble for accidentally shooting the woman's cat. It was somewhat confusing on film and I can't see how this situation could be broken down into one or two illustrations. Of course I'm not an artist.

Posted by Tim Young (Member # 8421) on :

Kathleen,
You're not the first person to point out the problem with Billy's mom shaking Trisha. I'm not a very medically-minded person (obviously; although some would say that this is an issue more of plain common sense than medical knowledge) so I didn't give it very much thought when I put it in the story. (I guess I've watched a few too many slapstick cartoons in my time.)

I think I could assuage the concerns of folks like yourself by having Trisha wake up on her own when Billy returns with his mom. I don't think that would have any negative effect on the story- do you?

Posted by Tim Young (Member # 8421) on :

JCarroll,

I don't really know anything about illustrating or working with illustrators. What you said makes it sound like I'm supposed to find an illustrator before I go looking for a publisher. I always assumed it was the publisher's job to find an illustrator after they picked up a manuscript.

The thing about this story is that, the way it's written, the text only does half the work of telling the story. The rest relies on the images. Good thing I made it into a movie, right? I didn't make the movie just so I coul illustrate the story though, if that's what you're thinking. I made it to watch at a church talent show. Folks from the church liked it...

Anyway, I'm starting to ramble. Does anyone have suggestions on what I should do to get from where I'm at with this story to getting it published as a kid's book?

Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :

Tim, I think your change to just having Trish wake up when her mother arrives would work.

Picture book authors are not expected to find or provide illustrations or illustrators for their books. It does help if the author includes notes about what kind of illustration might be best with which segment of text, but I don't think even that is necessary.