Welcome all reviews, would like a couple of critiques on the entire article. Nostalgic, 1,300 words, non-fiction. Titled: Throw Away Sparrows
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Do you know how much fun it is, to chase 30 helpless chickens in a fenced yard? It’s the most fun a boy can have when Grandpa isn’t looking. “Bobby, don’t chase those chickens! They’ll get too excited and not lay any eggs.” “I wasn’t chasing them Grandpa, they were chasing me!” I learned to feed the chickens in the morning and in the evening. Grandpa insisted we gather the eggs every day. He explained, “Otherwise, the mama chickens would sit on them too long and they’ll all hatch.” “Hatch Grandpa? Does that mean little chickens?”
[This message has been edited by Robert Brady (edited March 03, 2010).]
Posted by Bent Tree (Member # 7777) on :
Very nostalgic indeed. I would read on because this strikes my core. I was in a situation much like this as a child. There is no indication that it is really speculative fiction, and there is no real conflict or a 'hook' besides tugging on heartstrings(which got me)
I would be glad to read this for you. Send it over. I am not sure what type of market, if any, you have in mind. I might be able to make a suggestion after I have reviewed the entire manuscript.
Posted by Merlion-Emrys (Member # 7912) on :
Theres actually a seperate fragment forum for non-fiction.
Isn't there?
Posted by Bent Tree (Member # 7777) on :
Yes there is a non fiction section. I didn't notice that it was nf before.
Posted by Robert Brady (Member # 9024) on :
Sorry, I didn't see any message that this was for fiction only. I've been over to the non-fiction area, there's seven postings and eight responses for the last year, and a couple of them have no responses at all. Not a thriving metropolis.
I won't post any more non-fiction under this banner. I have some fiction pieces that I'd like to get reviewed.
Accept my apology, I guess I didn't read all the fine print.
Thanks for pointing it out, Bob.
Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :
Never mind. I've gotten rid of the Nonfiction area.