I've been over the first four chapters with a fine tooth comb. Is anybody willing to read them as a block (just under 8500 words) and let me know how well they work?
Here are the first 13 again:
Vatar could not contain his elation. A joyful whoop escaped his lips as he cantered away from the herd with the other two boys. They were going to get away with it! The herdsmen had no reason to suspect their real plans or to try to stop the boys.
Torkaz returned Vatar’s grin, confident, as always, that his plan would work.
In his joy, Vatar leaned forward, urging his horse to go faster. Torkaz and Fenar recognized the challenge to a race. Soon the three boys were galloping across the open grassland. But Vatar did not keep the lead for long.
Vatar would never be able to outrace his younger brother. Fenar was by far the best horseman of the three.
Posted by Gaudrhin (Member # 8557) on :
I'm curious to read more!
Posted by Owasm (Member # 8501) on :
I'll risk a read.
Posted by Wufiavelli (Member # 8248) on :
would be my first critique reading ever but would be willing to try