The exquisite rose-red slippers were full of holes.

“Not again,” Berta mourned, swinging them around to show Tillie, who already held an emerald-dyed pair in her own hands. Tillie shrugged and tossed the flawless green silk into the rubbish bin, but Berta held on to hers a moment longer.

Lucky the king was rich, or he wouldn't be able to buy twelve pairs of these beauties day after day. Why, one pair alone would equal her salary for a month! No wonder there was so much unrest outside the castle, especially with the soldiers coming home. Berta glanced back at Tillie, then shoved the red slippers into her dress pocket. They could be fixed. Just because holey slippers weren’t good enough for the princesses of Myr didn’t mean they weren’t good enough for Berta.

(edited for spelling)

[This message has been edited by mythique890 (edited June 16, 2009).]
 

Unfortunately, I'm not very good at first thirteens. But I'd be interested to see where this goes.

Post in the Novel Support Group when you're ready for readers or a chapter exchange.
 

The only thing I can think of is, that first line isn't exactly one to grab the reader's attention, if you know what I mean. Rose-red slippers? Full of holes? It screams "fairy tale", not exactly a big deal, though. *shrug*