Hatrack River Writers Workshop: my first semi-autobiographical novel

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Posted by Wendello (Member # 7896) on :

I'm here, Baby. You're not alone,” a hauntingly familiar voice said.

“Monkey, is that you?” I asked, hesitantly.

“Who else would it be?”

“Am I going insane?” I asked, as if talking to myself. She answered, “No, I'm here. I'm real.”

I was thinking, “Okay, if this is real, why did you do it?” Surprisingly, she answered, “Because if I hadn't, you would have, and I didn't want your family going through that.” She continued, “I'm sorry I didn't consult you, but I know you would have tried to stop me.”

“Bull****,” I thought, “part of you wanted to die.”

“You're right, but I did this primarily for you.”

[This message has been edited by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (edited August 22, 2009).]

Posted by SavantIdiot (Member # 8590) on :

I was turned off by the profanity. I am not saying you should never use profanity necessarily but to start off the book with it sort of leads me to think it's a) going to continue in that vein (which I don't want too much of in my head) or b) it's going to stray into other things I also don't want too much in my head, probably pornography or grisly imagery. Which may or may not be fair.

From just the bit I read the other day, prior to the editing, I wouldn't go much further into this one. The writing was all right, I think, but I was pretty distracted forming the words in asterisks and thinking, um...