This is a short story by Rachel Caine "Even A Rabbit Will Bite" in the "Dark and Stormy Knights" anthology.
As soon as I read it, I loved the first sentence. "I got a letter from the Pope in the morning mail." Second sentence was one word, "Handwritten".
There's so much in there and I think it shows how a hook should be.
The rest of the first paragraph is the same. A good example of an opening I think.
Of course it takes a while to get to the fact that we are dealing with a real life dragon killer who is almost a thousand years old.
Hmm, despite what I just said this story might be what not to do, Caine breaks at least two rules I have been told to do in an opening but it works for her. You can break rules when you know them.
Posted by Robert Nowall (Member # 2764) on :
Buck Henry used something like that as a joke one night on Carson: "I was in Rome last week...I was talking with the Pope and I said..."
Posted by Amanda1199 (Member # 9295) on :
Ah, brevity! Brilliant! Thanks for posting the inspiration. (Brevity is something I need to work at!) ;0
Posted by Grayson Morris (Member # 9285) on :
You and me both, Amanda. We shall excise and streamline together, paring down our wasted, superfluous words with the exacting knife of literary precision and always holding clarity forth as our ultimate goal, whatever may happen, so the valiant reader may love our stories and not shy from them and their extreme wordiness which so repels him, and----
<sound of ruler smacking on hands. Hard.>
Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :
Instead of the ruler, I prefer the Salmon of Correction--one whap is just as good in getting people's attentions.
Posted by Grayson Morris (Member # 9285) on :
Oh, that's good. I'll have to remember that one.
Posted by Amanda1199 (Member # 9295) on :