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» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Next, Please Introduce Yourself » HSO's bio (Page 2)

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Author Topic: HSO's bio
Jaina
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There are some who call me... Tim!

Actually, there aren't, I just thought that, since I'm confused to tears anyway, I might as well bring everybody I can down with me! Did it work?


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MrClean
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Yeah, I'm down. Mostly because I don't get to be offended any more. I was, then I wasn't, and that made me offended, but then I was not offended because I was and then I don't have a name that starts with 'J' and I'm offended that HSO got over 50 responses and I only got 8 or so and and now I can't remember what I'm even talking about. It has nothing to do with the fact that I'm being punished for something I did in another life. I think.


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Jaina
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I think we need to make an exception--you belong at the TOP of the Confused to Tears list!

(edit: I'm also easily confused by keyboards. Go figure.)

[This message has been edited by Jaina (edited March 03, 2005).]


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ScottMiller
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Hi, HSO. Newbie here. Crispy crits don't bother me. Vague well-intentioned ones do. I hate it when people go into "there's something here, something... different" mode.

Although it looks like you've got enough on your plate already.


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Jeraliey
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I'm playing both sides, just to keep stuff interesting.


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MCameron
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hey mike, I want to be on the RPO list too! I'm offended because I just got a critique from HSO that didn't offend me! And here I thought it was a golden opportunity to be offended...

--Mel


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HSO
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Maybe I'm losing my crispy crit touch. I used to offend people left and right. Now, people thank me, and then get offended that they weren't offended.

Perhaps the time has come to hang up my critiquing hat and go elsewhere. I suppose I could hang out on MP3.com and start critting people's music and telling them that they're songs lacked a hook; that their solos were dull and uninspired; and, that they should focus more of the effort on their jobs as a waiter in Bennigan's -- where they have a decent shot at becoming successful at something.

I'm so torn.


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Kolona
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Maybe if Simon Cowell retires....

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MaryRobinette
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I'm offended that you misused "they're" in your above post. Or should I say "you're" post.
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Jaina
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Or perhaps you need to take a look back at some of your old crispy crits and see what you did right.
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mikemunsil
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RPO#1 mikemunsil
RPO#2 Kolona
RPO#3 Keeley
RPO#4 djdvdakota
RPO#5 Rocklover
RPO#6 Truehero
RPO#7 Goatboy
RPO#8 HSO
RPO#9 Jaina
PRPO#1 MaryRobinette
RPO#10 MrClean
RPO#11 MCameron

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rickfisher
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Well, I'm offended that HSO hasn't yelled at MikeMunsil (in an offensive way, of course) for not putting Jeraliey back on the list (she was originally #7, but got bumped off by goatboy). And Mr. Clean got bumped off by--of all people--HSO! at the same time. But he's back on.
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HSO
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Is there no justice in this world? Is there none at all?

rickfisher is correct and rightfully offended. Mike! Mike! Stop fudging up the list. How I am supposed to know who is an offendee and who isn't? This is completely unacceptable. The rage... Someone get me a sack full of kittens posthaste.


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Jeraliey
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Oh, man.


::shudder::


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mikemunsil
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RPO#1 mikemunsil
RPO#2 Goatboy
RPO#3 Jaina
RPO#4 djdvdakota
RPO#5 MaryRobinette
RPO#6 MrClean
RPO#7 Kolona
RPO#8 HSO
RPO#9 Keeley
PRPO#1 Rocklover
RPO#10 Jeraliey
RPO#11 MCameron
RPO#12 Truehero

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Keeley
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Hey, wait a minute! I was one of the top three. How dare you make me #9. [growls]

We should start a list of people who are offended by Mike and his alterations of the RPO list. :P

I'd start it, but I don't have time to maintain it.


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mikemunsil
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It isn't me! I swear!

Survivor, are YOU doing this?


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Jaina
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Well, Keeley may be upset, but I'm not arguing with an upgrade from 9 to 3!
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Kolona
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Hey. I used to be two and that's my favorite number. Now I really am offended.

Oh dear. I phrased that badly and now I've offended myself.

[This message has been edited by Kolona (edited April 02, 2005).]


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mikemunsil
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OK, let's start all over. Here are the ground rules. Everybody watch HSO like a hawk, and when he offends you get here and assign yourself a number!
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Kolona
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Well, somebody better take one, because I want two.
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Jeraliey
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I want my original #7!!!
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HSO
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First of all, I offend equally. No one should feel they need a number of importance. However, since I recognize the vanity and triviality of the human condition, I can accept that membership numbers might be useful. It is therefore my pleasure to announce that I will be personally assigning membership numbers providing the following criteria is e-mailed to me:

You Full Name, including any aliases
Your Social Security Number
Your Mother's Maiden Name
Your Bank Account Numbers, Credit Cards, and PINs
A digitally signed certificate on your behalf pledging to sacrifice at least one harmless animal per calender month -- done in my name, of course
A recent photo of you dressed up as any character in The Rocky Horror Picture Show
The actual electronic text or post of mine that offended you. (This post may count towards that, if you prefer.)

Failure to provide any of the above automatically excludes you from the coveted, official, and authorized by yours truly membership number.

Nevertheless, you may at any time remain to be offended and be considered a "chartered" member without the need for a membership number. Chartered memberships are authorized through mikemunsil. Should you require more information, mike will be happy to furnish it to you at his earliest convenience.

May a giant raspberry* be in your futures.

Sincerely yours,

HSO

*spittle may cost extra.

[This message has been edited by HSO (edited April 02, 2005).]


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rickfisher
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quote:
rickfisher is correct and rightfully offended.
But I'm still NOT ON THE LIST!

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Monolith
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AHEM.
<Taps foot>

Hello not getting more offended over here, especially since I haven't been offended yet.

We like HSO around here, but I know it takes alot to offend me (former military).

So please mike, add me to the list of offendee's ( is that even a word?). I feel just so left out.

-Monolith-


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benskia
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Hey HSO.

I just read that you've got a lot of similar hobies as me.

What kind of music do you make? I do a bit of composition as well. Mainly electronic stuff with synths and samplers (hard and soft) but a bit of guitar too.

I like computer games too. Are you doing Everquest 2 or World of Warcraft?


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HSO
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Games: I avoid the online games. Far too life consuming. I stick with your basic one-player console RPG's these days. I hate playing games on a computer. I'm on a computer enough of the day anyway. Time away from it is much appreciated.

Music: Keyboard is my primary instrument. I have way too much gear from my gigging days -- most of it still in storage in the States, because I don't have any room in my flat, and because it's expensive to ship things over. Not particularly into the soft synths so much, I prefer the hardware versions. I can also play guitar, drums and bass. My wife has a sax, and I'm thinking about teaching myself how to play it. Just haven't got around to it yet.

I like to compose in almost every style of music. I'm equally comfortable in most any style. Some days it's blues or jazz. Other days it's new age / electronica. And still other days it's rock / grunge. I like reggae from time to time, too. I typically avoid country music -- just don't like it enough, I suppose.

That's about it, really.


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Elan
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Well, I don't believe I'm going to hand you my bank account number or PIN, but I have a cat or two I'd toss into the ring for the monthly sacrificial ritual... :P
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goatboy
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If #2 is such a great spot, can I auction it on eBay?
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TruHero
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Well it has been a while since I've checked in here. I'm glad to see that I'm still on the list, even if it's the bottom. Although, my moniker is spelled incorrectly. I should feel put out, but I just can't muster it right now.
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Inkwell
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Dear Abbey...er, HSO,

I've been offended, but not recently. Do I still qualify for official offendee status? If so, must I fill out the appropriate forms (86-J through 148-L) again?

-Erstwhile Offendee


Inkwell
------------------
"The difference between a writer and someone who says they want to write is merely the width of a postage stamp."
-Anonymous


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