Sorry peeps, I forgot I did this.
2: A whole lot of strange words. I'm not really sure where or what is happening. The line repeating "the here to kill me" gave it great impact. I'd keep reading, but hopeful would find out what's going on soon.
3: Nice. The casino night threw me a bit. It seems a bit too human a thought.
4:I love this one. I love that the plants talk to her and they are her friends. I would keep reading.
5: The beginning feels a bit to choppy for me, but I liked the use of the pearls of red, and making the garden sacred. Also I had to reread the line but the death, about three times to fully understand what it was you were saying.
6: Rock trolls. Awesome. Head like a melon pulled me out, but otherwise an interesting thirteen.
7:I'm really confused. What is it she is hunting specifically, and why does noise mean nothing? Too many questions too soon, and not enough answers before you delved into the description.
8: Not my best work. I would join twlinz in withdrawing it, except I was to late in remembering I actually wrote this. Still an interesting idea, though I would do it completely different today.
9:The danger room of gardens. Nice. The presepective seems kind of far though, like I'm watching Jasal, not living through her.
10: Did he mean to do that? Some clue to his attitude would make this story more interesting, either way.
11: You did a really good job with just the right amount of discriptions so that I can really see whats happening. I love the cabbages and beet greens. And the garden gnombes are cool, but they dont really seem like a threat.
12:Interesting infodump. The idea has merit.
13:I'm noticing the words here, not the story. I love the line, "The paragon towered..." Interesting.
14:The skill of the writing here is amung the best I've seen. I loved the too gnarled to be so young. Hook in itself. My issue is that I don't really know anything about who Jasal is, also the line "Sanguine droplets..." seems to have no purpose beyond using sanguine and octagonal in a sentance. I would personally drop it and get to the action quicker. I get that Jasal has anxiety, though I'm not sure why he is there, and if the place is so horrible what compels him to continue forward.
15: This reads like a synopsis. Why does she know all this? Could you maybe let her find out when the reader does? It would read stronger If she was hearing the order that she and everyone was going to die, as opposed to waiting for someone to tell her what she already knows.
16: Love it. Clear idea of who this is, and what is going on and a great hook in the "She was begining to doubt that he..." Brilliant.
17 id he abuse her? How did she get these bruises? I'm kind of confused as to what's going on.
Thanks everyone for your insight.