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Author Topic: my Ex- rant.
Andromoidus
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well, Ive been fuming about this all day, and I know its late, but I just had to get this off my chest...

today, Im going to school and walk towards my little clique and lo and behold, who should it be but one of my ex girlfriends. she had apparently been seeing me get friendly with another girl in that group, and she is talking and "laughing" with the group. Royal, one of my friends, says that He is only slightly phsychopathic, to which I jokingly reply "no, your completely phsycho." this is the moment that the manipulative b!!# has been waiting for, and she gets in my face screaming, I kid you not, these are her exact words, "I am tired of taking your s#!^ all this time! you one of the biggest b@$!@%ds I have ever seen, and you need to leave Beth alone! you are smothering her, just like you did to me!"

what the hell is up with that? I mean, sure, I hugged her a lot, but thats all! and then she has the guts to get her NEW boyfriend to threaten me, (and lets face it... the guys a wuss.)as well as getting one of MY friends to tell ME to lay of HER!! I havent even talked to the girl all year, and this while she is constantly saying snide things to me, practically stripping with her boyfriend while I am around, and actually has the guts to tell ME to lay off HER? I waited three f***king months before even HUGGING a girl, and she is making out with a guy THE D@MN DAY AFTER WE BROKE UP!! she sits there on a SIX HOUR BUS TRIP to Estrella making out with this guy CONSTANTLY!! then over the summer, as if all this werent enough, she went out with MY BEST FRIEND just to make me jealous! (he admits it! she told him so after she broke up with him!) last december, I was going on a date with another girl, and she WALKS UP TO ME in the middle of it, calls me a B@stard, slaps me in the face, and tells my date that Im only a one night stand after I dated her for EIGHT F***KING MONTHS without a single complaint! putting up with "Ahren, dont go off campus! stay on with me" and "do what you want, but Id prefer it if you stayed", not to mention "you missed it while you were off campus" WHAT THE F***K IS UP WITH THAT?!?!? then today happens! what the hell is a guy supposed to do? I just want to punch that little manipulative B!%@# in the face, but cant because "shes a girl."

sorry if you dont want high school drama on the browser, I just had to get it off my chest, and let myself rant for a bit.


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Robert Nowall
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Well, you might consider that you're better off...
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Zero
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I'm getting the impression that this is a high school affair. Trust me when I say these politics fizzle into dust shortly after you don the cap and gown. So don't let it bother you too much. Your dignity is more important than the opinions of others. That's my perspective anyway.
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Zero
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I somehow missed this line when I read your post:

quote:
sorry if you dont want high school drama on the browser, I just had to get it off my chest, and let myself rant for a bit.

Which makes my comment "I'm getting the impression this is a high school affair" look incredibly stupid. But aside form being Captain Obvious, I think the rest of my advice stands. I had similar experiences and they were a huge deal to me back then, distracting and emotionally hard to endure, I couldn't stop thinking about them. And, in the end, I left on pretty bad terms with some people. But, if I had it all to do again, I wouldn't really care about the "who's with who" so much. Instead, I would focus on trying to get the most out of high school academicly (academically?) and just be respectful/polite to everyone. They may be juvenile but you don't have to be. And if you're more mature and tolerant than the rest you'll come away from this whole thing less embarassed than everyone else.

And trust me, there are many other girls out there.


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Meredith
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Ah! Some of us can remember high school--just.

Sounds like a bad case of "I don't want him, but I want him to suffer for it. And I don't want anyone else to have him either."

Try laughing at her, at how juvenile she's being. Maybe not in her face, but with your friends. Remember, the best revenge is to be happy. That'll really get her goat.

And even if it doesn't, you'll still be happy.

[This message has been edited by Meredith (edited March 12, 2009).]


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Zero
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Anyone remember the Seinfeld bit on "the best revenge is living well" ?


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Zero
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One of my favorite quotes is, "Forgive your enemies ... if you can't get back at them any other way."

Not that I encourage you to participate in some petty war.


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Meredith
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Well, there's some truth to it. Frankly, I find that it's just not worth wasting the energy to hate someone. Just get them out of your life and use the energy for something more fun. Not saying I never get mad at anybody, of course. But hate just doesn't have a good enough return on investment.
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Robert Nowall
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Living well is the best revenge.
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Zero
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I agree completely, Meredith. Hate is probably the most useless aspect of human nature. And hopefully the first one to evolve away. It has never allowed me, for instance, to be productive and it certainly hasn't improved my quality of life.
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Zero
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But I still hate nazis and tomatoes.
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AmieeRock
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I went to a TINY high school-there were 52 in my graduating class, and my high school encompassed at least 10 towns or townships. We had our share of drama,too. I didn't really date much, since I'm attracted to guys with all of their teeth or at least the class to invest in accurate recreations of said teeth, but that's not my point. My point is, I am in touch with only two people that I went to school with, and only 4 that I went to college with. All of which says alot for my ability to form meaningful lasting relationships (asocial anyone!!)So all of this is but a small moment. You don't need to play court jester to a drama queen.
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Zero
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My graduating class was probably close to 50 as well, but not because the school was small (cause it wasn't) more because the school was stupid. And so many people didn't graduate.
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Andromoidus
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yeah... it was more me just letting it out than anything. I just had to tell someone, and here you guys were. (my parents have made it clear that they want nothing to do with my love life. kinda wierd... will you guys be my surrogate parents?)

I may tell you guys about prom later on, but this is the latest in the life of Andromoidus. (aside from spring break and midterms.)


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Zero
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Everyone needs a place to let it out. Here's fine. I don't mind.
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shimiqua
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...and it's good fodder for all of us who write Y.A.

~Sheena


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Kathleen Dalton Woodbury
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Yeah, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd remember what you agreed to when you registered:
quote:
You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use this BB to post any material which is knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, or otherwise violative of any law.

Andromoidus, you can rant, but you do not have to get vulgar and hateful. Okay?


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Andromoidus
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ah... forgot about that...

sorry. all posts will be PG or lower in the future.


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Kathleen Dalton Woodbury
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Thank you.
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Rhaythe
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On the plus side, crazy ex's give you plenty of inspiration for writing and otherwise-creative endeavors...
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tnwilz
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My ex's have a club now....

Wait I think this is supposed to go into random musings


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AmieeRock
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You can eviscerate her with your pen. Or word processor.
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Zero
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Or pride yourself on having the dignity not to.
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AmieeRock
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Yeah, it's the higher road, but it's just not as much fun. Besides, we have to get our ideas for villains somewhere, right?
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Zero
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Yeah. But at least change her name even if, in your mind, it is her.
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Rhaythe
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It would probably be libel otherwise. Not to mention pretty tasteless.
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Andromoidus
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man... now I have to change the name of the antagonist in my play...

although the spelling is different, and she has a different last name...


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Zero
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It wouldn't be libel unless you are stating that this character is, in fact, this person. I can have a character named Joe Brown without automatically being sue-able by every real Joe Brown in the world. If your character's situation is notibly different than the real-life person you're more than fine. Otherwise what kind of a horrible world would we have. No one could ever say anything.

But, having said that, I think the classy thing would be to change the name anyway.


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Rhaythe
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I am not a lawyer.

That said, I believe it's up to a jury whether it's libel or not. Given the freedom of speech thingie, it's up to the ex to prove that it is him or her being mis-represented in the story. If they can convince a jury that the the author...

1) knowingly named a character the same as his or her ex,
2) causes the character to act in a way that could be considered harmful to the real person's reputation, and/or
3) did so with harmful intent

...then you have a problem. I could imagine a random collection of 12 people being sympathetic to someone that can prove he or she dated the author, and that the author decided to get some kind of revenge through his very public medium.

My point would just be to change the name and not give him/her a leg to stand on. Everyone has an inspiration, so long as it's just inspiration and not defamation. My point: be sure when you slap on that label saying, "This story is fiction. All similarities to real persons, places, or events are coincidental", be sure it's true. Your publisher would also really appreciate that.

(Wow, that turned into a much longer post than I intended...)

(Edit: my spelling sucks)

[This message has been edited by Rhaythe (edited March 25, 2009).]


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Zero
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J, we need you again!

I refuse to believe that a character with the same name as a real person constitutes as libel, unless the implication that the character IS the real person is obvious.


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Meredith
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Having the same name in itself would not constiture libel--unless it was obvious to the intended audience exactly who it was meant to be. In the extra-small world of a high school campus, that's very likely to be the case.

If you name a character John Doe, but really basing that character on Samantha Roe, then a real John Doe is going to have a hard time making a case. Especially if you don't know anyone by that name. But if you name the character the same as the person you base it on, then you're asking for trouble one way or another.

There's a good section on this subject near the beginning of OSC's Characters and Viewpoint. It doesn't address libel, but it does address the issue of having people recognize themselves in your work and how to prevent it.


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philocinemas
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I bet one way is to not write on a public website that you named a character after your ex-girlfriend.
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