---------first 12 or 13 lines here---------
"Everything? That's a bit much, don't you agree?"

Mr. Asmodeus frowned at Demi in mock consternation. He adjusted his crimson scarf, shivering slightly in spite of the warm mid-day sun steraming through the windows.

"I think it's a reasonable offer. Your master wants my soul and I'll gladly part with it. If the price is right. Think about
it, the pristine soul of a young virgin, devout and unspoiled...Surely that's worth everything in the world to you and your
master?"

Demi saw the reaction of Mr.Asmodeus' face, the slight bulging of his eyes at her mention of the word "virgin" and the quick out-in motion of his tongue licking his lips, and she knew she'd already half won.

"I shall have to contact my superior in this matter, I'm afraid", said Mr. Asmodeus, while he reached into the inside pocket of his coat to retrieve a bright red cellular phone.

"Will you excuse me for a minute or two?"

---------------end of first 12 or 13 lines----------

Greetz

Jo (Just)

[This message has been edited by Just Jo (edited April 08, 2005).]

[This message has been edited by Just Jo (edited April 08, 2005).]

[This message has been edited by Just Jo (edited April 08, 2005).]

1.
Since I was not entirely clear on who spoke the first line, I had to do a bit of deduction to figure out who was speaking next.

This was my thought process:
The first person asks, "Everything? That's a bit much, don't you agree?"

Then the next line describes Mr. Asmodeus frowning. I thought the frown was his response to the question at first.

Then I read the part about the reasonable offer and the young virgin (who is traditionally female) and I was thrown into a bit of a tailspin because I thought it was Mr. Asmodeus talking.

Then I stopped and started rereading it.

2.
I am not sure who's POV I am supposed to be viewing the scene through. At first I thought it was Mr. Asmodeus because:
a. He was the first person named, which does not always indicate the POV character, but since readers are entering a "new world" they instinctively latch onto the first "guide" they can find.
b. Because he "shivered in spite of the warm mid-day sun," which at the time sounded like an internal thought to me.

Then later I'm confused because "Demi saw the reaction of Mr. Asmodeus' face...and she knew she'd already half won." That's certainly internal, so then I thought it was supposed to be from Demi's POV. So I stopped and reread the beginning again.

Thanks HSO for the suggestion and the help.

@Newbys: the confusion probably resulted from the lousy formatting. Which emphasizes my lesson learned
It's not omni, it was just lousily formatted.

Greetz

Greetz