The town of Enilno was a trading community, established by merchants and mercenaries as a place to sell their goods and services. Only the stupidest of creatures would try cheating or stealing from one of the peddlers.
“Stop thief.” A loud voice shouted.
“Get out of my way. Move it.” Sirhc yelled running through the crowded bazaar. As people moved into his path he reached out and effortless pushed them to the side sending them, food and boxes scattering in all directions.
“Someone stop him.”
As a stack of crates fell Sirhc jumped as high as he could trying to vault over them but his foot caught on the last crate and he found himself tumbling to the ground. Scrambling to his

>The town of Enilno was a trading community, established by merchants and mercenaries as a place to sell their goods and services.

or

The trading town of Enilno was established by merchants...

If you can say it fewer words, you should.

>“Stop thief.” A loud voice shouted.

You could tell us who shouted. If you can be specific you gain a clarity that helps the story image in the readers head. Also it is a speech tag and so is part of the same sentence. The way you start makes it seem omniscient

Try:

“Stop thief,” a bearded silver-smith shouted.

>“Get out of my way--(dash works better)move it, (commma)” Sirhc yelled running through the crowded bazaar. As people moved into his path, he reached out and effortless(ly) pushed them to the side, sending them, piles of fruit (be specific), and boxes scattering in all directions.

>“Someone stop him.”

Is this a child speaking, or a woman or a man? At the moment it is non-specific voice, and you are missing the opportunity of painting colours in your scene.

>As a stack of crates fell(comma) Sirhc jumped as high as he could(comma) trying to vault over them(comma) but his foot caught on the last crate and he found himself tumbling to the ground. Scrambling to his

This sentence feels to me that it could be improved by creating a more immediate picture. It is also too long.

Example:

A stack of crates crashed (use stronger verbs not run of the mill ones if you can) in front of Sirhc. As he leapt over them, his foot caught and he tumbled to the cobbles. Scrambling to his

How did the stack of crates crash in front of him? It's unlikely they did it on their own.

I appreciate this is a teen fantasy, and so will only mention that this feels like a generic intro of a hero who starts as thief--see Aladdin. You do mention that this is chapter two of a book (and so should really be in the novel section of hatrack)
and so I wonder if this is your hero or not. Quite late to introduce the hero if it is.

[This message has been edited by skadder (edited September 16, 2008).]

Not sure I particularly care for the name Enilno, but that might just be me.

I would leave the mercenaries part, as mercenaries are far more interesting than merchants, in my opinion, but I agree with the others that "as a place to sell their goods and services" is redundant and should be dropped, or perhaps replaced with something more interesting.

"Only the stupidest of creatures would try cheating or stealing from one of the peddlers."

I noticed you mentioned that the consequences of stealing would be mentioned later. I think, if they're severe or unique enough, that moving their description into the first 13 might make for a good hook.

"As people moved into his path he reached out and effortless pushed them to the side sending them, food and boxes scattering in all directions."

Effortless should be effortlessly.