Pyraxis and Christian: You were both right and have helped me make this story work so much better. I like it now that I've finished the revisions. I now feel that the first part of the story is just as good as the last part that you both liked.

The revisions won't be obvious in the first 13. I've pretty much kept that the same. If anyone wishes to crit the first 13, that's perfectly fine, but I'm mainly looking for readers. This is a novella and not a short story. It's approximately 44,700 words. So, if someone would like to read only part of it instead of all of it, that's fine. I feel like this story is finally finished and ready to be submitted.

So here's the first 13:

Wyatt strolled down the barn aisle to inspect the sale horses he would soon be leading through the auction. He stopped to examine an Appaloosa in the nearest holding pen when she chose that moment to capture his gaze with her own. Deep in the black leopard mare’s eyes an image from the past leapt out at him. His arms tighten with goose bumps. “Black Rain,” he whispered. The bumps eased away but not the memories. Not with his spirit guide staring back at him from within this mare’s eyes.

Footsteps sounded behind him. He threw Silas a quick glance when his brother stopped beside him in the peaceful quiet of the barn. “Dad said you had an Appaloosa among your charges. Wanna trade?”

How did this escape without even a single critique? That will not do.
I know I commented on an earlier post of this and don't see a lot of changes have been made to it. Tell you what, send me a short opening, enough that you would considered to be the part that would reel me in. I'll give it a look.