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The number of _magic_. Professor Howler drew a large nine on the dry erase board and turned back to smile at the class. Matt rolled his eyes. With a greener suit, a redder nose, and a thicker moustache, Howler could be the doorman for the Wizard of Oz, who in turn was the wizard and nothing but a charlatan. Nine is a diving rod. The hidden steps in the matrix. A spiraling bridge to the worlds beyond. Willful, ghostly and dynamic, nine vanishes and appears as it pleases. In addition and subtraction it is a phantom. In multiplication it attacks and dominates the other numbers. In division it imprisons them. Nine is living energy. An indestructible number. Take any multiple of nine break down the digits, add them up, and you still get nine. Magic!
If any is interesting in trading off a review on the full 4600 word story. Please let me know.
As far as hook, it didnt truly work for me, was a little like a lecture, but then that was the first 13 a lecture in a classroom. Also, the energy of the professor comes through in the writing, you can feel his passion. I will admit also, I was going through the multiples of nine. For that alone I would read on.
So, if you want to click my email above, feel free to send it my way.
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Wolfie is having trouble posting. He has asked me to forward all critique requests on his behalf. I highly recommend this guy if you are looking for a solid critique. He knows his stuff and is good for his offer to repay you for the crit. Trust me. You'll be getting the better end of the deal.
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quote:Howler could be the doorman for the Wizard of Oz, who in turn was the wizard and nothing but a charlatan
I know you are saying Howler and the Wizard are the same because they're both charlatans but I stumbled and had to translate your meaning. I would cut everything after the comma.
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Thanks to all who reviewed this story. Didn't get selected for OTP. Enormous fragile ego bruised, but breathing - will live to write (and rewrite) another day.
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You are welcome. It was interesting to learn OTP had 175 entries for this contest. That ours were not selected as one of the ten finalists is just the way it goes.
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That is kind of you, Wolf. I hope to complete my new Kabbalist story soon and would appreciate your critique. I'm in a busy cycle at work and haven't been able to get "in the zone" to write the ending. I'll forward it when I'm done and have completed the first rewrite.
Respectfully, Dr. Bob
P.S. I should ask first if you are opposed to a novelette length (I estimate the first draft will be ~ 14K words). If you prefer something shorter, I'll need ask for a raincheck.
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Hw dare yu suggist sumthin of mine iz naught "weel written"!
Thanks, Wolf. Time is not an issue for me. But it may be a few weeks before I finish and feel I have a draft clean enough to send you. Have a great weekend.
Respectfully, Dr. Bob
[This message has been edited by History (edited June 18, 2011).]
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