posted
Here's another apocalypse story (sorry, Meredith!), one I finished a while ago. It's only 2947 words long, and I need some readers. I'd be happy to reciprocate!
I signed up for the class because my girlfriend thought it would be fun. Guns, roughing it, killing squirrels for dinner - Kayla loved that crap, in theory at least. Survival courses had become a favorite diversion for dilettantes like her and conspiracy theorists like me. I doubt that many students really believed doom was power walking towards us with hand-weights of destruction. After all, deterioration had been the natural state of things for a long time. Famine, plague, floods, earthquakes? Been going on for years. War and rumors of war? Check. World economy in the toilet? Old news.
By the time I got to class that first night, the room was filled with neophytes ready to learn the intricacies of digging latrines and twisting the heads off chickens. A middle-aged
Not bad, first two sentences are grabbers. But that "hand-weights of destruction " makes me think me of the gym. Maybe something along the lines of brass knuckles or steel gloves?
One sentence seems a bit long on second reading but I think they all read well at least with their lengths.
Not much else I can say.
Louis
Actually this is third one dealing with an apocalypse, seems to be a rage going on. Posts: 5289 | Registered: Jun 2010
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posted
I'd like to read it, please! The entire hand-weights of destruction line was my favorite, and I already like the premise of the story.
Posts: 8 | Registered: Mar 2012
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posted
Send it along. This hooks me. Good character development. I was lost inside the first thirteen, the good kind of "lost", mind you. x]
Posts: 193 | Registered: Oct 2011
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