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» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Fragments and Feedback for Short Works » Hunting Death

   
Author Topic: Hunting Death
Lance Conrad
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Member # 9901

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I have 17,000 words so far in a story that is truly stretching me. It is a novel that will stretch back into the biggest battles in history and make you ask continually, "Was a Cicatrix there?" That is, if I can ever finish the bugger.

13 lines from a Word document is below. Not sure how it appears on your screen, but if it is longer than 13 lines, please forgive and ignore any more than 13. Not my intent to break rules...

He put his right hand into the scanner as the electronic voice instructed. He felt the warmth of the machine as it scanned not just his fingerprints but his palm print as well. He hated the next part, and he winced just as he always did as the metallic teeth, like a saw blade, scratched from the base of his palm all the way to the tips of his fingers. The teeth peeled the top layer of skin off his hand—a precaution against anyone trying to beat the fingerprint scanner with some kind of synthetic.
What you are guarding is more dangerous than nuclear weapons…
Next was the retinal scan, first the regular, then a blast of cold air almost hard enough to push him back from the scanner, drying out his eye and forcing him to hold his eye open with his fingers to make sure his eye didn’t close. If it closed, he

[ August 14, 2012, 11:56 PM: Message edited by: Kathleen Dalton Woodbury ]

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Lance Conrad
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Sorry, meant to put this in the Books version instead of short works. I am going to post this again in the other section, but can't delete this one. Don't hate me, first-timer.
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Denevius
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i'll take a look at the first 6000 or so words.
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Kathleen Dalton Woodbury
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Because of Denevius' comment, I won't delete this topic, but I will close it, so people will continue the discussion in the books area.
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