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Author Topic: Grammar question (again)
Silver3
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Is something wrong with this sentence? I can't shake off the idea that I'm not doing things properly. It's about a boat race.

"The last stretch of water, with its desperate fights for the first place, made for the most interesting spectacle."

Thanks,
Silver, polishing stuff


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autumnmuse
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Well, you imply that the water is what is fighting for first place, for one thing. Also, I'd take out 'the' from the phrase 'for the first place' for two reasons: first, it sounds better to simply say 'first place' and second, you use the same phrase right after that with 'for the most interesting'.

Edited to add:
Perhaps the second part of the sentence would be clearer if you said something like 'full of fights for first place' instead of 'with its fights'.

My 2 cents.

[This message has been edited by autumnmuse (edited November 17, 2005).]


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Silver3
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Yeah, I wasn't sure of that "the" either. But my brain seems to switch to French at this hour of the night (it's 1:00 in Paris and I'm doggone tired).
Thanks a lot!

Bedtime for me.


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sojoyful
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On the other hand, a stretch of water fighting desperately for first place would make for a most interesting spectacle!
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Spaceman
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The desperate fight for first place over the last stretch of water made for a most interesting spectacle.
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Thieftess
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yup - I'm with Spaceman: I vote for "fight" instead of "fights" as well.
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