I'm starting to run into a major problem with second drafts.

Now I feel I'm being careful and choosing carefully from crits what I want to adjust; Including grammar and paragraph structure.

I also try and adjust for what editors want...

but I have found that when I'm finished I have a well written story, but not the story I originally set out to write. It's clean but the core substance seems watered down.

It feels like I'm picking at threads that later unravels the whole piece.

Any advice on how to make adjustments and keep the core subject matter intact in a second draft? Because as it stands I now feel I have to do a third draft to get the stories back on target.

Is this normal? Or is there something I'm missing?

First, I go through each of the crits and do a technical edit. I correct poor wording and clarify things that need it, fix grammar, etc.

Then I look at the comments I've gotten as a whole. If any two (or more) mention the same trouble spot or same theme of a problem - like, it gets slow in the battle scene - and I figure that's a major problem that I need to look at. I look at their suggestions if they've made any, but what I really look for is what's causing the problem response. Where has this part failed? Is it truly this part or a lack of support previously that's causing this problem? Then I rework that until I think I've solved it. And I go through all of the major problems that way.

Finally, I look at individual nits. Things that are an individual's taste or problems that weren't noted by anyone else. Sometimes I adjust these things, sometimes I don't. It completely depends on whether or not I agree with them.

And then I go through and tighten it up to my own specifications. If I can enhance aspects of the world or add in cool tidbits, I do. And this is where I make sure it's staying on track. I look for consistency. If I've changed a story element significantly, I try to make sure the new bits blend smoothly and are properly supported.

1--things that three or more critiquers remark on or have some kind of problem with,

2--feedback that resonates with what you are trying to do with your story.

Anything else you can toss, no matter who gave you the feedback. (You can toss any feedback at all, after you've considered paying attention to it, as long as you make sure you say "thank you" for it.)

However, fiction does not always bow at the altar of good grammar. In some circumstances it is okay to use incorrect or improper grammar and even spelling. In most circumstances I would suggest trying to use the best grammar.

Regarding your story not resembling the original, I am currently having a similar problem. Several of my critiquers commented that it seemed overwrought (imagine?) - I've decided not to change this aspect because I felt it was appropriate for the story. However, several suggested the ending was too happy. I've struggled with this for some time (almost a year) trying to do something different. Then a few nights ago I couldn't sleep, and suddenly the perfect ending came to me at around 3am - I wasn't even thinking about that story!

I have found on occasion, that if I write like what editors are suppose to want I would have to change my story. I have a couple of times but I have also refused at times. If I changed it to what might sell I would change the story, make it something different. The other story might be good, might be sellable-there's is still the fact that I wrote it-but it would not be my story. So I think I can relate when you say that your story changed.

I'm not sure how normal it is, but I have heard other beginners say something along the same lines. It seems to be part of the growing pains of becoming a pro. In which case it would be normal. We are suppose to find the way we write but at the same time we are to write under certain rules and under the fact that editors want stories written in certain ways. There seems to be a contradiction there. One we have to work through.

I've gotten hints-very strong hints at times- from pros that the RULES aren't as set in stone, even by pro editors, as it looks like. I'm not sure what advice to give or to take at this point. There seems to be a mixture of following certain rules yet doing it our way that we need to learn. It could be that the rules are like playing scales in learning the piano. Once you have them down you can pretty much go anywhere, musically.

Some of it appeals broadly, some maybe has a smaller appeal, but we each have our own style, our own voice. Editing too much bleeds our own voice out of our work and instead replaces it with "group think" or "what we think editors want."

How about putting aside that kind of feedback and just write what kinds of stories you want to write? Listen to yourself first and foremost. Get a few readers to help you check for mistakes, and then see what happens when you submit that work out? What is there to lose? Editors don't remember the writers they DIDN'T buy from...so if we put something in front of an editor that doesn't suit them, so what?

I wonder if maybe you are looking too closely at the first draft. Maybe you can just edit with this idea in mind, "is this important to the story" as opposed to "is this sentence beautiful, brilliant, or trash."

But that might be just my thought process coming through.

I think the goal of a second draft is to trust the first draft, but only the core elements in it. It's a refining of what is already there, not a restart.

Stop worrying about what an editor or and agent wants and start asking yourself "What does this story want?"

Maybe you should save your finished first drafts, and then your finished second drafts, and then try to combine what you like of both in a third draft.

It has also been stated that a few writers need some revisioning. I seem to be one of those.

When I'm doing a second draft I'm still chiseling away to discover the heart of a story, often throwing great gobs of material out. At one time I was hesitant/almost afraid to throw anything away, insisting on just changing what was there, and the result to me seemed similar to what you describe.