posted
I've followed this novel's development for most of its emergence. I see a few strengths and shortcomings that give me pause. Strength-wise, the potential exotic secondary setting of an Eastern milieu may appeal to Western sensibilities familiar with and appealed to by several dramatic franchises that emulate Eastern culture. The Power Rangers franchise is one, and certainly the Godzilla franchise, maybe Teenage Mutant Turtles, and Eastern anime and graphic novels. The West hasn't quite adapted the Eastern cultural aesthetics those franchises portray that most appeals to Eastern audiences, though.
Where Western culture favors individualism, Eastern culture favors cooperative collectivism; Western, self-reliance, Eastern, mutual or reciprocal interdependence; Western, self-advancement, Eastern, hierarchal laddering order; Western, social mobility, Eastern, status quo maintenance.
I say all this to suggest that, while the setting of the novel is Eastern, and the central character is acculturated toward Eastern cultural systems, the writer is obviously acculturated toward Western culture systems. The clash of Eastern and Western cultures, to me, is a central premise I feel the synopsis and what I've sampled doesn't adequately address. Nathan's role to a degree is an access for that clash. However, Jung Hyun is posed as the central character, and she's Eastern.
Jung Hyun also doesn't appear to have a personal stake or motivation in the dramatic action. The central and tangible premise is a murdering Gwanylo, probably Seung Bae. What is at stake for Jung is probably her life or death as a Natural Police investigator. Beyond that, what else does she personally have to gain or lose? If this were a straightforward murder mystery, it would be a puzzle story, puzzling out who the murderer is. If it were a psychological thriller, it would also be a puzzle story, puzzling out why the murderer kills so the killing can be stopped. Why is a crucial textural feature that should at least be implied regardless, so that how it personally impacts Jung is understandable, so that its import matters to readers.
I'm not sure what kind of story genre this is, other than it has revenants, martial arts, murders, and is set in an Eastern cultural milieu. The contemporary (urban) fantasy genre has thus far been mostly young adult to early adult coming of age initiation narratives. I don't see that yet or any similar premise in what I've read of this novel so far.
Why does Seung kill? For example, Harry Potter's Death Eaters kill any who oppose their agenda and mudbloods, out of a desire to purify the magic culture and expunge anyone who doesn't toe Voldemort's vision and value system. As readers of the Potter saga, we really never have a firm grasp on Voldemort's identity: he's evil incarnate, what he openly wants is clear and strong, the threat he is to an orderly and peaceful way of life is clear and strong, but he's artfully mythic in that more questions about his personal identity are left unsatisfied than answered. We are left to construct his identity using our imaginations.
Same with Darth Vader in episodes four through six. Mythic villains' leave such character development open to interpretation, because their concrete, material, and tangible though monodimensional nature symbolically represent abstract, immaterial, and intangible forces influencing our wants, problems, obstacles, beliefs, and value systems.
No need to directly state why Seung kills, just imply what Jung believes or unravels and discovers to her satisfaction is the reason why. Doing so may and maybe should relate closely to Jung's personal stakes and motivations, characterizing her, portraying the Eastern cultural mileu, and adding depth and meaning to the plot and the whole.
This has thus far read to me rather generically and that challenges my willing suspension of disbelief, spoils the potential for immersing in the exotic secondary setting, different from my routine, everyday alpha reality, and keeps me at an arm's length from participating in the novel's mystique.
In a different sense, in other words, why and how does this story matter to its audience?
posted
There are a lot of interesting points. I want to answer some as a way to write a better synopsis more so than challenge anything you're positing.
Basically, it's me talking to myself through writing.
quote:The Power Rangers franchise is one, and certainly the Godzilla franchise, maybe Teenage Mutant Turtles, and Eastern anime and graphic novels.
Definitely closer to anime and magnas, and the target audience is primarily male despite the female character being central. I guess mostly males between teens to late 20s, early 30s.
quote: say all this to suggest that, while the setting of the novel is Eastern, and the central character is acculturated toward Eastern cultural systems, the writer is obviously acculturated toward Western culture systems.
I've thought about this as I've been writing it and have decided that I would never call this a "Korean novel". It's not. It's a western novel written by a westerner that focuses on Korea. I want it to be accurate, but this is a foreigner writing about a foreign land, which means:
quote:The clash of Eastern and Western cultures, to me, is a central premise I feel the synopsis and what I've sampled doesn't adequately address. Nathan's role to a degree is an access for that clash.
I guess somewhat. Nathan's character was born out of a necessity. There was a plot hole that needed to be filled, and he became the key to do so. Also, there's aspects of Korea I need explained in the narrative, and a criticism I wanted to avoid was readers asking why Korean characters would point out things that they'd obviously know about Korea, as those instances would be me trying to fill in gaps for a western audience. Foreign words and cultural habits and such.
One of Jung Hyun's central problems is her disenchantment with this system she now exists in. I suppose this is Western, though not unheard of in Eastern literature and popular culture. If you think back to "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", the central tension with Shu Lien was her desire to go against cultural and family expectations, which for her were to marry who her parents matched her with and be a dutiful wife. Instead, Shu Lien wanted to be an outsider (I forget the word they used for this), more similar to Jade Fox.
To be honest, this is a more common plot in Eastern literature and popular culture than in their more hierarchical reality. No surprise there, though.
quote: Beyond that, what else does she personally have to gain or lose?
There are subplots throughout the novel that sets up this dramatic tension, but the over all thing she has to lose doesn't manifest itself until most of the novel is written. But for the subplots, the one is losing her best friend. Another is losing her family. A third is losing her life (or unlife). A fourth is failing a young girl she connects with. A fifth is her status in the Gwanlyo degrading.
Not exactly in that order.
quote:The contemporary (urban) fantasy genre has thus far been mostly young adult to early adult coming of age initiation narratives.
The narrative begins with her being a child in her new life, and shows her maturing as she deals with each new conflict. I think that's coming of age, though to be honest, I don't normally define Urban Fantasy or Urban Horror in that manner. My definition is basically taking fantasy or horror and putting it in an urban environment. The reason why I also call it speculative fiction is more because of how realistically I attempt to portray the unrealistic so that, except for the fact that it doesn't exist, logically it could.
quote:Why does Seung kill?
That's the paradigm shift that I'm reluctant to give away in a synopsis.
quote:No need to directly state why Seung kills, just imply what Jung believes or unravels and discovers to her satisfaction is the reason why.
Tricky to do this in the synopsis, but you may be right about this. Ah well, I suppose if I must I can always lie in the synopsis, imply something that isn't true but sounds interesting, and have readers come to the genuine revelation as they read the story.
quote:In a different sense, in other words, why and how does this story matter to its audience?
What do I expect the reader to get out of "Natural Police". Interesting question. I suppose I can answer that by thinking about what I got out of some of my favorite books and using that sentiment to detail what I hope for readers to get out of this novel.
Thanks for the response!
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posted
I don't have any other answers, but you completely hooked me with the first paragraph. Mind you, I have come to generally dislike UF and anything else basically set in Mundania, so you've already overcome a large existing barrier in this reader's head.
I thought in a synopsis, you were supposed to 'give away' the plot secrets? (I may be wrong, since I don't write the nasty things.)
One possible misreading...
Jung Hyun discovers that he might be the killer of humans she’s searching for.
...initially I took this to mean "he notices which humans she searches for, then he kills them" rather than "she is searching for the person who kills humans" which I presume is your intent. If so you might want to rearrange this. Posts: 782 | Registered: Dec 2010
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quote:(I may be wrong, since I don't write the nasty things.)
I definitely empathize with you there. I used to think this was the job of an agent shooting it to the publisher. But in this digital age, it seems writers have to wear all the hats of traditional publishing if they want any kind of success.
Thanks for the comment!
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