posted
I'm just starting the third book (out of four) in this series. I loved the first two. I kept being drawn back into them every time I had, say, ten minutes to spare. Then I'd look up an hour later and dinner would be late.
This third one, PASSAGE, not so much. I care about these characters enough to go along with them for the ride, but that's what this book almost seems to be--a travelogue.
So, I spent a little time thinking about this last night and I may have hit on an insight. I can't really identify a central conflict in this one. There's nothing driving the story forward or me back to the book to see what happens next. Things happen and I trust that they will all come together in the end, but I can't put my finger on a central problem.
Dag's travelling trying to find some answers--or maybe even just the right questions--after a series of events have basically turned his life inside out. Okay. But I'm not feeling the urgency of his quest right now. Maybe I will further on into the book. We'll see.
Maybe, if it went just a little deeper into Dag's POV, so that I could see him worrying about it, even if he doesn't tell Fawn, I'd get more conflict. I don't know.
And this is really interesting to me right now because I can see parallels with the second book of my series, THE IGNORED PROPHECY. In that, my MC has some questions that he's seriously trying to find answers for. He's not travelling for that purpose, but everywhere he goes, he does ask someone, hoping for enlightenment. And one reader has said already that I need to increase the stakes and make that question seem more urgent. I'm going to need to work harder on that.
[This message has been edited by Meredith (edited April 22, 2010).]
posted
You're right, Meredith, PASSAGE is a little more relaxed in some ways. To me, their journey was in part to try to figure out why the (can't think of the term--it's been a while) monster outbreaks are happening where they have been happening and in part to try to teach people so they will be more aware when one happens in the middle of a village. It's a mission with an "or else" factor that isn't as immediate, in some senses, but the goal is prepartion.
They run into enough adventure on their way, though, and they learn from it, but you're right, it is slower in some ways than the first two books.
posted
Malice or blight bogle, depending on who they're talking to.
It seems to be mostly about Dag figuring out his new abilities, trying to figure out a way for the two groups (farmers and Lakewalkers) to trust each other and work together, and trying to figure out where he and Fawn fit.
I think a deeper POV might give it more urgency. It seems most of the time she shows how Dag reacts without really getting down to what he's thinking or feeling. It's clear when he's upset or worried, but sharing exactly what's worrying him might give it more conflict.
I'm thinking of the recent scene where he visited another Lakewalker camp and basically got turned away. He's given that up for Fawn and doesn't really regrets it, but he had to feel something. The only thing that's shown is his irritation at not getting the loan of a sharing knife.
Not criticizing, 'cause it's still a good story. Just not as good as the first two. I'm trying to process it so I can make my story better.
It's also slower that the fourth book as well, so you have something to look forward to. Part of the slowness for me was the expansion of the Dag/Fawn story to include the stories of their new 'tribe' on the river as well. One way to think about it is that book one and book two were one story, and books three and four are a second story. The second story starts at a leisurely pace, I'll give you that.
posted
I get that. And it's still a good story, mostly because I've come to really care about these characters. It just doesn't have that core conflict driving it forward. If I had accidentally picked this book up first, I don't know that I'd have read the others.
As Fawn says at one point, "The first thing a maker has to make is himself." That's what Dag seems to be doing in this book. I think it would have more tension if the reader was let into his doubts and fears about what he's becoming a little more.
I don't know if she shied away from that because Dag is otherwise such a strong, capable, experienced character. Actually, it's all that experience and the fact that he's now, for the first time in a long time, on totally new ground, but still trying to be strong and capable for Fawn that could drive some more tension into the story, I think. Rather than just things that happen that give him some new piece to try to fit into the puzzle.
posted
I agree that more depth into Dag's thoughts and feelings would have been nice. We do get his point of view, as I recall, but not very deep.
I came to think of him as sort of like Abraham Lincoln in a lot of ways, for whatever that may be worth. He was a thinker, but he also dealt with a lot of pain, and he more or less shied away from thinking too much about the pain.
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