posted
Many people seem to have trouble with the creation of a hook in the first 13, I thought it would be interesting to have a competition whereby all entrants wrote an intro for the same story, an we see who creates the best hook and why.
How it works:
1) Use the story outline below to create 13 lines of prose. You don't have to use the beginning of the outline. Your story can start anywhere within the outline. Any details not specified can be made up. 2)When it is ready--and you feel it has a hook then post it without looking at anyone else's (be honest), after posting NO EDITING.PLEASE DON'T LOOK UNTIL AFTER YOU HAVE POSTED YOURS...That would be cheating! 3)Feel free after you have posted to hack apart (in a constructive way) anyone else's. 4) No real scoring for this--we'll keep it simple.
Story Outline:
Peter Hamilton's wife died in a car accident. He moved out of their city apartment into a small house by a lake and began to drink a fair bit. He lives a lone except for his dog, Bingo.The house by the lake is isolated and the nearest neighbors are five miles away. Peter spends his time drinking and thinking about his dead wife. Bingo seems to know, and tries to comfort him. One day when he is walking his dog along the shores of the lake he finds the body of bear. Its body has been torn apart. Peter returns home but later that night he hears sounds coming from downstairs, in the cellar. The cellar also has an external entrance. Peter goes to investigate using the internal door from the kitchen. He finds nothing, but while down there his dog Bingo begins to bark upstairs. Peter tries to exit the cellar using the external entrance but it is locked from the outside by a padlock. Then Peter hears Bingo squeal in pain. Then there is silence and Peter hears something moving about, it sounds enormous and he can hear the sound of massive lungs breathing...
The creature is an alien that crash landed (in a ship) in the lake centuries ago. It is about the same size as an elephant but is a predator, and goes on hunting sprees every so often (now) as it gets strong urges.It is stranded. It is hoping to be rescued. It is very lonely.
That should be enough. Give it a try...it's only 13 lines, not the whole story!
I have posted a topic in the contest section for people to post in. PLEASE DON'T LOOK UNTIL AFTER YOU HAVE POSTED YOURS...That would be cheating!
[This message has been edited by skadder (edited March 15, 2008).]
[This message has been edited by skadder (edited March 15, 2008).]
posted
The problem is, this isn't a complete outline. I wouldn't know where to begin until I know what It is. As the writer, I have to know. That knowledge could drastically change the hook. It it a monster, ghost, ogre from another dimension, dragon, the evil side of him come alive? You see how the first thirteen could drastically change?
Posts: 3687 | Registered: Jan 2007
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posted
The details of what precisely it is is up to you. I would presume you would begin your first 13 prior to the revelation of what it is.
I didn't give a complete story outline because I felt there was sufficient there to allow for a 13 lines with a hook to be created...
I did say any details not specified could be made up.
The whole point IB, is that you will create a first 13 that is hookier than an inexperienced writer's given a similar starting point. Think of this as a detailed trigger.
[This message has been edited by skadder (edited March 15, 2008).]
[This message has been edited by skadder (edited March 15, 2008).]
posted
I thought the challenge was to write an opening--a hook--for the same story. As it sits, what the IT is will make a plethora of different stories.
Before this denegrates into an argument, let me say, I was interested in seeing different openings to the same story. But, unless the first 13 has to come from the drinking and dealing with the loss of his wife, it's not the same story--it's the same character. Just decide what IT is, and what it's doing there, then we will be able to give different versions (PoVs maybe) to the same story.
[This message has been edited by InarticulateBabbler (edited March 15, 2008).]
posted
OK, it is an alien that hid its ship when it crash landed in the lake centuries ago. It is about the same size as an elephant but is a predator, and goes on hunting sprees every so often (now) as it gets strong urges.It is stranded. It is hoping to be rescued. It is very lonely.
It was a good point and my original intention, IB. I lost sight of it when I did the rules. Thanks for the pointer.
[This message has been edited by skadder (edited March 15, 2008).]
posted
I still see a problem in making the competition comparable, if people start at different places. Sitting alone inside drinking, finding the bear, hearing the heavy breathing? Or is that choice part of the competition?
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posted
I think that will be the difference between how each writer tells the tale. Everyone has the same synopsis; the same character background--albeit loose--and the same speculative element. What makes this contest interesting is how each writer will handle it differently.
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