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» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Writing Challenges » 13 line anonymous challenge 2: Fantasy (Page 1)

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Author Topic: 13 line anonymous challenge 2: Fantasy
axeminister
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As I'm sure many of you have guessed, and based on the entry in my inbox, someone guessed correctly, the second portion of this anonymous challenge is:

Fantasy

Reminder: please mail entries to 13line@pdachb.com

The person with the highest COMBINED score of both this and the previous challenge will win a $25 Amazon gift card. (I can do another bookseller card, but I prefer Amazon because I have an account with them and you can print the card from your computer.)

The idea behind this trigger is to give a boost to those of us still struggling to place in the Writers of the Future contest. HOWEVER, this does not disclude ANYone from joining in.

If you didn't participate in the first challenge, you are of course STILL WELCOME to join this one. Even if you just want some feedback on a WiP.


Rules:

1) 13 lines only. Make it a beginning of a story. This is a hook challenge, designed to make your readers want to read more!


Time frames:

Contest starts now, Friday, July 20, 4:00 post meridian, eastern standard time.
Ends precisely 7 days later.

Voting will be open from 4PM, Friday July 27th to the following Friday 4pm August 3rd.

Then I take an anonymous contest break till Halloween. I have an idea for that prize, but I must run it by someone first... Stay tuned.


Scoring system:

5 pts for 1st place votes, 4 pts for 2nd, 3 pts for 3rd.

What's expected of you if you enter:

You are expected to vote for your top 3 favorite entries.
Please e-mail me your votes. (Anonymous, remember!?)

For fun, give a mention of your favorite title. (Optional)

Crits are optional, but highly valued. Remember to keep them as constructive as possible, as well as if you would read on or no. (are you hooked?)

Comments on this thread...entries will be posted BY ME on the other in clumps to avoid suspicion.

Axe

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rcmann
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The competition looks tougher on part 2.
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genevive42
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Eek, you mean I have to write something else? [Wink]
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Owasm
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I agree with rcmann. This will be a tough challenge to judge. So many good openings.
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rabirch
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Indeed. Good stuff!
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axeminister
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The challenge is now CLOSED to new entries.

Time to VOTE!

Axe

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Utahute72
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Anybody got a sixteen headed coin?
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rcmann
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D&D dice. The only way.
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axeminister
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OK folks,

I found time to post the first half of the critiques. Sorry if you are 9 - 16, because at the moment I must dash and pick up my son from the babysitter.

I will post them ASAP.

I am thinking of bold facing critiques that have received a vote.

It wouldn't give away the placing 1 2 or 3, and could provide some fun speculation.

What do you all think?

Axe

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rabirch
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quote:
Originally posted by axeminister:

I am thinking of bold facing critiques that have received a vote.

It wouldn't give away the placing 1 2 or 3, and could provide some fun speculation.

What do you all think?

Axe

Dost thou enjoy a bit of torture, fair fantasy-challenge master? Wouldst thou torment us with hints and glimmers of untold truths?

Seriously, though, I don't have a strong opinion on that. I have no issues with it, if nobody else does. It would be interesting to see how people are thinking.

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axeminister
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Lots of updates, folks.

If something is missing or broken, it's unintentional. Just let me know.

Axe

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Utahute72
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You know what would be really interesting is to have everyone rewrite their openings based on the comments and see what they look like after that. I mean this is a workshop, right.
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rabirch
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quote:
Originally posted by Utahute72:
You know what would be really interesting is to have everyone rewrite their openings based on the comments and see what they look like after that. I mean this is a workshop, right.

I actually really like this idea. The comments are helping me see some issues that just weren't jumping out at me.
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axeminister
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Jim,
Good idea!

Not sure where to put them here, but maybe we can put them up in F&F and mention they were from the contests. This way new folks could comment and/or those who've already seen it could compare the differences.

I know there's some things I'd sure like to change.

Axe

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Utahute72
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Or we could just start a new thread.
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axeminister
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All the votes are in save the author of #16, who I can not reach by e-mail. (Returned).

So if you're out there, send me your votes!

Will post the final crits this afternoon.

Axe

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axeminister
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Whew!

All done, and just in time for the Friday at 5pm quittin bell to ring!

So, after a month of contesting, we have a winner.

RC (the) Mann ! ! ! Final score - 45 points!

Coming in a close silver, Dr. Bob with 42 points!

Third place is 33 points. The bronze goes to Sheena!

So, I'll get with RC and figure out the particulars of the gift certificate.

Everyone else, I hope you gained some experience in both the crits you received, as well as reading others. (openings, not crits, or both, I suppose.)

Oh, and a very important lesson to take away from all this... don't start your fantasy story in an inn! [Razz]

If anyone would like to know their final score, please send me an e-mail.

If anyone would like to reveal their stories/openings. Go for it. Nothing's stopping you now!

Epilogue.
Thanks to everyone who participated.

Running an anonymous challenge is exhausting but rewarding. And definitely fun.

Axe

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rabirch
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Many congratulations RCMann, Dr. Bob, and Sheena!

This was fun and a lot harder than it looked on the surface. I have a much easier time writing to a specific title or image then to a genre. Good thing to learn about myself.

Thanks so much, Axe, for running this. It looks like it was a heck of a lot of work.

I'm looking forward to revising my opening (I'm #4, if anyone cares.) Thanks for all the helpful comments. It was a bit difficult to write about being all freezing cold, since when I wrote it I was in a hot tub on vacation, typing into a notepad app on my Kindle. =)

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rcmann
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Thanks. Honestly, when I saw the competition on the fantasy part I gave up hope. That was some nice writing.
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History
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Mazel tov, rcmann. Well done.
My appreciation to all who left comments/suggestions.
And special thanks to challenge leader Dustin Axe-master [Hmm ... do I envision a new story therein...a cigar-chomping, lady-loving, dwarven sword/axe and sorcery hero?....

"If your head stood taller I'd strike it from you shoulders," the barbarian laughed and the inn patrons chortled.

Dustin took the stoggie from his mouth and peered up from beneath the Cimmerian's knees. "If your manhood were larger, I'd use it for a toothpick."


...hmm, no. Never mind. [Wink]

Respectfully,
Dr. Bob

P.S. Let's see... my entries were:

SF #4 All Time In a Day-- [I mistakenly used the Quick Reply box instead of the Full Reply (doh!) and didn't have time to revise it. I look forward to completing this (yet another) sweet but sad love story and Higg-Boson particles.]

Fantasy #6 The Number of the Stars And All Their Names-- a new Kabbalist tale, as perhaps some Hatracker who has critiqued my others may have possibly noted. I dropped this when the first two failed to interest WOTF and the few markets I submitted to. I suspect I'll return to it someday, since it has a dark carnival, a teenage coven, mythical spirits of the deep Maine forest, the Cthulhu mythos, as well as my interest in Jewish mysticism--all in the setting of my hometown.

[ August 03, 2012, 06:17 PM: Message edited by: History ]

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snapper
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Hey! You're not done yet, Dustin. We need to know who wrote what!?!

Man you are slipping....Geez, you make it sound like it was work.

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rcmann
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I wrote "Situational Ethics" for the Sci-Fi challenge, and "Hunters" for the Fantasy challenge. Both stories are currently under construction.
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Brendan
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Congratulations rcmann, Dr. Bob and Sheena. Loved that title Dr. Bob.

I'm going to take a guess at tying the two challenges together. I may not know who wrote what, but some I thought had similar styles.

Entry #1 THE TENTACLE TREE - Entry #14 MARK OF NOWHERE
Entry #2 THE CRÈCHE-KEEPER'S DREAM - Entry #16 THE ROOSTER CROWED AT MIDNIGHT: A MAGICAL MYSTERY
Entry #3 PROJECTION OF A MOST UNFORTUNATE KIND - Entry #8 THE DEATH OF A TRADESMAN
Entry #4 ALL TIME IN A DAY - Entry #6 THE NUMBER OF THE STARS AND ALL THEIR NAMES
Entry #5 WEAKNESS - Entry #4 PALE HANDS I LOVED
Entry #6 THE ABSOLUTE GAME - Entry #1 THE GRIKON TOOK A LICKEN'
Entry #7 SITUATIONAL ETHICS - Entry #2 HUNTERS
Entry #8 UNTIL THEY COME - Entry #13 A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH
Entry #9 STRANGE BEDFELLOWS - Entry #3 ZIPHA DRAINS AWAY THE UGLY
Entry #10 GRAND TSUNAMI - Entry #12 IN THEIR NATURAL ELEMENT
Entry #11 THE END OF THE LAST OF ME - Entry #10 THE TRAIL OF BROKEN PROMISES
Entry #12 COLOR ME BAD - Entry #11 SAM RYAN'S GUIDE FOR USING MAGIC TO IMPRESS GIRLS
Entry #13 AMETHYST IN THE MOON - Entry #9 NEVER FOREVER
Entry #14 GIVING LIFE - Entry #15 HORNED BATS AND TARRED BALLS

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axeminister
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Brendan,
I see one right... Mine.
Hopefully yours as well.

I'll check tomorrow. (I didn't write author/story for the first challenge, only the 2nd.)

This does add a nice twist to the guessing game. Course, some folks have already revealed their hands. Uh. I hope you got those right too.

Also, I'll reveal the winner of the title award(s).

Frank,
I figure I'll let folks own up if they wish. I sure as heck don't... Ha!

I'm planning a flash fiction contest for Halloween this year. I have to inquire about the reward tho. If I get a few minutes to write an elegant e-mail...

Axe

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rabirch
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Hehe, I only revealed half of my hand!
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genevive42
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Congrats to the winners - nicely done!
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pdblake
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Well done all, some really good openings in both challenges.
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Utahute72
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Brendan, is that a good or a bad thing when you say the writing looked similar?
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snapper
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Congrats to the top three winners. I bow to your brilliance and your superior prose
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TempestDash
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Congrats winners!

Hey Axe, is there a chance we could see what entries were 1st/2nd/3rd in just the fantasy round? If the winners don't reveal which ones they wrote we'll never know which 13 lines everyone liked the best.

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axeminister
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Sure, TD.

Fantasy only:
1. Dr. Bob - #6 = 30 pts
2. Anon - #9 = 19 pts (This entrant had no Sci-Fi 13.
3. RC Mann - #2 = 18 pts.

The reason we score things the way we do is to reward consistency. 5 pts 4 pts 3 pts, instead of the more traditional 5 3 1.

In this case, you can see the overall winner placed in the top 3 both times.

Consistency.

Axe

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Brendan
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Utahute - neither good nor bad, just interesting. I know that the comments for mine were somewhat consistent - some people got the openings and others didn't and some got it but found them hard work to read. All good feedback, especially the ones that found it hard work and told me why.

So, axe, how many did I get right? With yours, I know I have 4 right (2 had declared their hands, + mine, + yours), and I suspect I may have one or two more correct.

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Owasm
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Brendan,

Missed on me. I don't know the ramifications of that. But that may mean you missed a LOT more.

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rabirch
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Missed mine, too. It was interesting to see how someone else views the styles, though. One of them I totally see, the other, not quite so much.

[ November 02, 2012, 09:48 PM: Message edited by: rabirch ]

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History
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quote:
Originally posted by axeminister:
Sure, TD.

Fantasy only:
1. Dr. Bob - #6 = 30 pts
2. Anon - #9 = 19 pts (This entrant had no Sci-Fi 13.
3. RC Mann - #2 = 18 pts.

The reason we score things the way we do is to reward consistency. 5 pts 4 pts 3 pts, instead of the more traditional 5 3 1.

In this case, you can see the overall winner placed in the top 3 both times.

Consistency.

Axe

Which guess means I suck at SF. [Wink]

Still thinking about my dwarf hero Dustin Axe-Master, though.
It might be fun (and a challenge) to attempt humor.
Bur not now...I must finish writing at least one story this vacation. No time for new ideas.

Respectfully,
Dr. Bob

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axeminister
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Gift card sent!

Enjoy, RC (the) Mann.

Axe

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axeminister
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Brendan:
Correct:

Entry #4 ALL TIME IN A DAY - Entry #6 THE NUMBER OF THE STARS AND ALL THEIR NAMES
Entry #7 SITUATIONAL ETHICS - Entry #2 HUNTERS
Entry #10 GRAND TSUNAMI - Entry #12 IN THEIR NATURAL ELEMENT
Entry #11 THE END OF THE LAST OF ME - Entry #10 THE TRAIL OF BROKEN PROMISES

Here are the stories that have no author match between 1 and 2.

Entry #5 PALADIN
Entry #8 THE DEATH OF A TRADESMAN
Entry #9 NEVER FOREVER
Entry #12 COLOR ME BAD
Entry #13 AMETHYST IN THE MOON
Entry #16 THE ROOSTER CROWED AT MIDNIGHT: A MAGICAL MYSTERY

Axe

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rcmann
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Got it, thanks.

I am surprised I landed that high in the fantasy part.

It's interesting that sometimes the same parts of my writing are simultaneously the favorites for some people, and the most disliked for others. Go figure.

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Tiergan
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Congrats to the Winners! I myself only made the 1st part, go figure, as fantasy is more my thing than sci-fi.
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shimiqua
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I wrote Giving Life and Sam Ryan's Guide to Impressing Girls with Magic...or however I worded that one.

Thanks guys. I'm honored to be at the bottom of this very quality list. Congrats Doc Bob, and Rc the Mann.

[Smile]

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pdblake
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I wrote Weakness and The Shadow's Dance (or whatever I called it). The first is a finished short and the second was just an opening.

In the Sci-Fi round someone critted that they knew just where Weakness was going. I'd be interested to hear just where they thought it was going, just to see if really was that predictable.

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rabirch
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I wrote "The Creche-Keeper's Dream" and "Pale Hands I Loved."

Both are currently just openings, but "The Creche-Keeper's Dream" has been much more thoroughly fleshed out in my head. And to answer some speculation in the comments, yes, this is a world with no women in it. It's been interesting to try to wrap my head around how that could possibly sustain itself.

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axeminister
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Rebecca,
I sustained myself for about thirty years in my world with no women in it...

Axe

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genevive42
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rabirch, Lois McMaster Bujold has handled just that topic in Ethan of Athos. You might want to give it a read.
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genevive42
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BTW, I wrote 'Until They Come' and 'Mark of Nowhere'.
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Owasm
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I wrote: 'Projection of a Most Unfortunate Kind' and 'The Grikon took a Licken'

Congratulations to the winners!

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rabirch
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quote:
Originally posted by genevive42:
rabirch, Lois McMaster Bujold has handled just that topic in Ethan of Athos. You might want to give it a read.

I have actually read it, but it was a long time ago. I'll have to find it again. Thanks!
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Brendan
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I confused everyone with Grand Tsunami and In Their Natural Element. The first has a story underway, the second was just an attempt at a first 13.
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snapper
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I wrote the two most offensive entries.

I'll take my tar and feathers now.

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Tiergan
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Well if we are all confessing, I wrote the one named after that awful pop band.
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