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» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Grist for the Mill » In a Funk

   
Author Topic: In a Funk
Crystal Stevens
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I've read posts like this one time and again on here but thought It'd never happen to me. I've been depressed lately. Oh not seriously depressed but enough to feel I'm in desperate need of something to take my mind off my troubles. I guess I just need a shoulder to lean on while I sing the blues, and this is the one place I thought I might garner some sympathy.

We're coming up on the busy season at work, and in some ways that's a good thing... overtime and bigger paychecks, but also frayed nerves and time to do nothing else but my job. For those that don't already know; I'm a 2nd shift production worker. Everyone is under the gun this time of year with lots of pressure to get the work out on time. Long hours make for short tempers and more mistakes. You get to the point where you don't even want to get out of bed because of what's waiting for you.

I'll try not to go into details, but there's a major war going on in my chosen horse registry. One of my closest friends is leading the charge on one side of this war, and I'm doing my best to stay out of it without hurting my friendship in the process.

Then on top of that, I'm having spats with my husband at home more regularly than normal. This will pass in time (I've been married to him for 36 years), but it's doing nothing for me to find some where to relax and get away from all the tension.

So I have tension at work, from a friend that's in dire need of support for a worthy cause, and friction at home. On top of all that, I'm in a dry spell on creativity to write. I've run out of ideas for my stories and writing cowboy poetry. I did come up with an idea for a new story at work last night. Just a kernal of an idea that I'm not even sure will work. Not all my ideas do.

The drought has made it next to impossible to get hay for my two horses. There's a chance I'll get some in the next week or so now that we've been getting rain on a regular basis. But the price has skyrocketed from around $3.50 a bale to $11.00 a bale. I won't relax until it's in our barn and paid for.

I am looking forward to the Columbia City, IN Indian powwow that's this weekend. I've been looking forward to this for weeks. There will be a vendor there that may have a specific Native American Flute I've been dying to buy. The only problem? The house insurance is due, and our funds are limited. The insurance costs more than the flute. It seems that every time I feel I'm ready to buy that flute, something more important comes up that takes the money.

Dang, but I need a pick-me-up. Something to cheer me enough that it'll stay with me and make my spirit sing. But here lately, there hasn't been much to sing about.

Thanks for listening. I'll come out of this. I always do, but it sure seems like life has been unusually rough lately.

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JoBird
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This always makes me feel better.

I hope you feel better.

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Robert Nowall
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I'd tell you all about the events my recent mild illness (mild, I hope), but scatological humor either reduces one to hysteria or offends deeply---there doesn't seem to be much middle ground.
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Kathleen Dalton Woodbury
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quote:
Originally posted by Crystal Stevens:
I am looking forward to the Columbia City, IN Indian powwow that's this weekend. I've been looking forward to this for weeks. There will be a vendor there that may have a specific Native American Flute I've been dying to buy. The only problem? The house insurance is due, and our funds are limited. The insurance costs more than the flute. It seems that every time I feel I'm ready to buy that flute, something more important comes up that takes the money.

Crystal, for whatever it may be worth, I had this problem with something I wanted very much that we just didn't have the money for each time the opportunity arose for me to get it.

I just kept waiting, and, as it happened, the cost went down each time I had the opportunity to get the item. Finally, there came a time when I had another opportunity, and at the same time, someone who had failed to pay me for something I'd written, asked me about that failure. When I said, "Yes, you haven't paid me yet," the person apologized and told me the check would be coming right away.

So I arranged with the seller of my item to let me order it as soon as the check came, and when it did, I sent the order in, and I have my item. I also have an assurance that if I am willing to be patient, then things can finally work out so I can have something I want dearly.

Punchline: the item? Pirate boots. Can't get much more impractical than that. But I love them, and I'm sure you will love having that flute when you are finally able to get it. (I hope it's soon!)

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wise
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Crystal, I have one horse and he is my luxury item. I have given up lots of other things that I really need to keep my horse because he is the thing that keeps me grounded and helps me relieve stress (though sometimes he adds to it, bless his soul!). I try to get through life making choices when I can and trying to ride out situations where I don't have any choice until the situation improves. Life will always have challenges, but try to think about your blessings and grit your teeth through the rest. This, too, shall pass. (Robert, sounds like that advice will work in your situation, also!)
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LDWriter2
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Even though it's been a long while since I've been depressed for any length of time I can relate to wanting to go somewhere I can't

Ever year when Dean has his workshops or OSC's boot camp. I almost have the money saved to go to one workshop but there's another consideration which probably won't let me go.

I do sometimes feel put out and used and abused, Writing usually helps with that. Of course sometimes writing is the cause of my short term depression.

Sometimes I listen to my favorite music. Haven't done it often but I turn up my music loud and listen to one of my favorite playlists on iTunes or a CD. I bought one CD I that would be good for that, even though that's not why I bought. Third Day's "Offering". I know their singing well enough to know I could sit and relax listening to it.

And Kathleen is correct that sometimes prices can fall especially in the economy we are in at the moment. Dean now has Online workshops. Not the same as a in person one but still a whole lot better than nothing...at half price without room and traveling expenses or having to fly or leaving my job for a few days.

If you can do something romantic and fun with hubby. Do something wild and crazy. Play a game of football with just the two of you in the rain(If you get any there)--Both walk down the street at night singing your favorite song, loudly-- Dress like Sherlock Holmes and Watson and go ask strangers if they have seen a Howling dog or a stolen letter. Or Star Trek or Star Wars or Ender's Game or???

I came back to add an obvious date. One to help you relax and feel good. Go to the local zoo, if you have one, especially if there are babies. Ours seems to have a few lately.

[ August 08, 2012, 12:50 AM: Message edited by: LDWriter2 ]

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Crystal Stevens
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My deepest thanks to all that have responded. This just proves what a great place Hatrack is, and I'm so glad to be a part of it in more ways than one.

For some reason the good Lord has given me a cross to bear, and bear it I will. Because I know He never gives us more than we can bear and will see us through. I just have to hang in there and hope I don't tear into anyone verbally along the way when I lose my temper. My poor husband is already feeling the brunt of my ire, God bless him.

Oh yeah, the car wouldn't start yesterday and is now in the shop with a possibly shot starter. It's always something!

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Crystal Stevens
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Things are beginning to improve little by little:

I'm working with a new hire at work, and we're really hitting it off. This young man caught on fast and understands what it takes to keep me supplied so I can do my job. I can't believe how much stress has rolled off my shoulders in just the two days he's been on the job.

I didn't find the flute I was after, but I went to the Columbia City, IN powwow today to get some info on flutes and met a pro Native American flute player, Bud Eagle Wolf. He was performing for the powwow, and we seemed to click right now. This man was an education just listening to him talk about Native American Flutes. We even played for a few seconds together before his actual performance. It was so cool!

I also got to try out a double flute for the first time similar to the flute I'd like to buy. The vendor didn't have the one I was most interested in, but at least I now know I can play a double flute. Something I didn't know before.

Nothing relieves stress for me than meeting new people and sharing experiences and knowledge. The people at powwows are so open and ready to answer questions and laugh and joke around.

What a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon and leave all your cares and worries on the doorstep. I haven't felt this good in months. Sure hope it'll last.

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wise
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Glad to hear things are looking up for you! Sometimes it helps to get out and do something fun to gain some perspective and refresh. Last week I went for a day trip to the coast, looking at rare turtles in the wild, hearing (but not seeing) baby alligators, enjoying the sea breeze, eating some good seafood for dinner. It rejuvinated me and reminded me how wonderful the natural world is. And then I got a speeding ticket on the way home. lol
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EVOC
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I'm feeling that way myself today. No real thing to put my depression on. But I think when your under pressure, as I have also been, you eventually feel disconnected and depressed.
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LDWriter2
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I'm glad things have improved...for Crystal at least.


So you won't be needing my other two ideas, I never got around to posting.


One I thought of at work the next day after my last post. Dress in Disco outfits and walk around singing "Move" by Mercy Me. [Smile]


And if you really what to go way out, I know where you can get a unicorn and Centaur costume. The Centaur costume won a FaerieCon West award. Only $1,200 plus shipping.

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