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» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Grist for the Mill » Random musings. (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Random musings.
shimiqua
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(Feel free to add.)

My hair gel smells like hamster feet.


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shimiqua
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Sour Cream Enchiladas taste better the second day.
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Robert Nowall
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Things taste better when they're going down than when they're coming back up.
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Rommel Fenrir Wolf II
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Damn Pockets.

sox always get lost in the dryer.


RFW2nd


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aspirit
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Paris smells like wet limestone (or so I'm told).
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Meredith
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A pox on pharmacies that can't fill a prescription in seven hours.

AND make you wait in line 45 minutes to tell you it's not ready after seven hours.

[This message has been edited by Meredith (edited February 02, 2009).]


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InarticulateBabbler
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Damned the naked midgets for throwing little pickles at me!
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AmieeRock
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I can't follow that one, except...

Send the pickle throwing midgets to the IRS, they deserve to be pickle-targets!!


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LAJD
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I don't like Mondays.
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Bent Tree
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The sun put on a ghastly robe
of great and terrible snakes
swirling forth as if to mark their joy
at the death of an enemy demon.

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aspirit
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The IRS does the best it can with the laws Congress enacted. Send the pickle-throwers to Congress.
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Zero
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It's not my fault I didn't do anything productive today... Wikipedia is an event horizon. (I learned that on Wikipedia.)
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Robert Nowall
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Ant spray doesn't get rid of the ant problem, it just makes the ants move to another part of the house.
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shimiqua
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Blame doesn't get rid of the problem, it just makes the problem move to another part of the house.

(Take that IRS)


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Joseph Forrest
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soap
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Zero
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lol
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Robert Nowall
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Why put a bumper sticker on the back of your car, that tells the world you're crazy?
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philocinemas
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I posted this once in a more serious thread, but this is a real pet peeve of mine:

How is it that I can go to a fast food restaurant and get a king-size drink, a large, and a medium, but I can't get a small drink?

Does anyone know what the word medium means? (pun unintentional)


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Robert Nowall
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Well, there's the story of, during the Cold War, when the Russian government ordered some...well, that's probably too raw and raunchy for right here...

I'll just type in the punchline.

"...and, printed on every one, was the word MEDIUM."


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philocinemas
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I'm not sure I get the implications you are suggesting. The only thing that comes to mind, with that word possibly printed on it, is in relation to something that could be affected by the cold and tends to drive men to buy very large vehicles. Am I on the right track?
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Zero
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Yeah it's kinda unclear. I took it to mean prostitutes.
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philocinemas
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Zero, I've never met a prostitute, in the familiar sense, however, I do not believe they come with the word medium printed on them. Now, if you are referring to...

(I better stop there)


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shimiqua
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You try to do something silly and pointless, and it will be derailed by people arguing over the meaning of words they can't say.

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shimiqua
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Down is easier than up. Except in an elevator. Then it takes about about the same amount of effort. (push)
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Zero
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Yes you'd better stop there, lol.

And shim, I love the elevator quote!


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philocinemas
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I apologize, shimiqua.

On to another musing: I recently found out that water doesn't really go down the drain in the opposite direction south of the equator. The direction of the water's spin is determined solely by the position of the spicket, the tilt of the bowl, and other variables such as air currents and imperfections. Is that random enough?


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Bent Tree
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There are currently thirty-seven species of insects within my sight and it is far colder out here than I am comfortable with. Florida isn't even that cold. I am a wuss.
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Zero
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The cold I can handle, but the insects I could do without.
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tnwilz
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If you ever become a Zombie, don't walk around with your arms held out in front of you - its a dead giveaway.
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aspirit
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Nice pun, tnwilz.

Florida does feel colder than colder states. I'd rather be in 30-degree Colorado than 50-degree Florida.

Salt actually removes some of coffee's bitterness.


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Joseph Forrest
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My wife doesn't let me have any of the money I go to work to make. I'm probably better off because of it.
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Robert Nowall
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Never go out in the woods in hunting season, 'cause the woods are filled with cuckoos.

*****

As for my joke---well, obviously, it's not really mine---if you're motivated enough to look it up, it's joke #303 in Asimov Laughs Again.


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Bent Tree
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The more time I waste, seems the less time I have to waste.
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dreadlord
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so a priest, deacon, and teacher walk into a bar...

and the bishop says "I can explain."


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Robert Nowall
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Ever gotten into serious trouble for doing something exactly the way you've been told to do it?
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snapper
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I can't find my glasses anywhere
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Rommel Fenrir Wolf II
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my favorit bumper sticker i have ever seen

Keep Honking i am reloading.

and

My other auto is a .45 COLT ACP

dose Chcuk Norris ever quit being funny? the poor man has over 2000 jockes about him.

RFW2nd


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Robert Nowall
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quote:
I can't find my glasses anywhere

Have you tried the top of your head?

*****

If management would only admit the machine didn't work, it could be ripped out and we could get on with our lives.


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snapper
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quote:
Have you tried the top of your head?

Nope, my head is way too big for them to be up there.

I found under the kitchen table. Damn cat.


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Patrick James
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A lot of randomness going on here. I won't add to it. I prefer to pepper my randomness where it doesn't belong.
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Robert Nowall
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My favorite French Fries are those I make myself.
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Bent Tree
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In FLorida it can be too hot and too cold in the same 24 hour period.
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Meredith
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The brains of male dogs are different than the brains of female dogs. Female dogs are always thinking. Male dogs' brains have a cut-off switch somewhere. When the right stimulus is applied--not just female dogs in heat, also squirrels, cats, the wind blowing in the wrong direction, etc.--the cut-off switch is activated and the male dog's brain ceases to function.

There has to be a lesson in there, somewhere.


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Meredith
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On the flip side, (just to be fair) male dogs are sweeter than female dogs. A female dog's brain is always working. They have their own agenda--often world domination. (There's a reason they're called 'bitches'). But male dogs just want to cuddle and be loved all the time.

Male dogs are also more sensitive than female dogs. You can tell a female dog 'No' and she'll just flip you the paw. Male dogs act like the world has ended. They also need to be told that they're good dogs a lot more often than the bitches.


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Bent Tree
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I make perfect jasmine rice...perhaps I am a tenzo at heart.
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Robert Nowall
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[deleted]
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Robert Nowall
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Ignore previous message; everything may yet be all right.
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Rommel Fenrir Wolf II
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hit any key to continue

PS: my brain is now always off, until around may it will come back on. i blame ther werewolf side of me for that.

RFW2nd

[This message has been edited by Rommel Fenrir Wolf II (edited February 10, 2009).]


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Zero
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I do too.
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Robert Nowall
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"Hit Any key to continue?" Where's the Any key?
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