Is anyone willing to read revisions to my short story "Sweetheart" and/or a cover letter before I send it on its rounds? It's 1320 words now and, perhaps, a little less cute.
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Todd jogged across the campus quad, chasing his shadow. It stretched out in the golden light of sunset, racing him across the lawn. He made a beeline for the only girl he was interested in and flung himself onto the bench next to her. “Look what I’ve got.” Todd held out a small white bag to Megan. “Chocolate covered pretzels!” He pulled one out of the bag and fed it to her. Megan’s lips gently kissed the tips of his fingers as she took the pretzel from him. “Mmm… sweet and salty." “Your favorite, right?” “You do know how to treat a girl well.” “Only those that I love.” She slipped her hand in his. “You’re so sweet.” “Sweet enough to meet your mom?”
[This message has been edited by MaryRobinette (edited August 20, 2003).]
Posted by Lord Darkstorm (Member # 1610) on :
Ok, I'll give it another read.
thayes@medjet.com
Posted by Hildy9595 (Member # 1489) on :
Me, too. Send away Posted by GZ (Member # 1374) on :
I'll be glad to take a look.
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
Many thanks to those of you who read my story and offered excellent feedback. My modem has died and I'm on the road for a gig, so that's why I never replied to any of you individually. I'm using a friend's computer today, tomorrow- who knows.
