Why God Doesn't Exist
The nonsensical random violence still confuses me even today. The apparent horror of it all escapes me, but what really sticks with me is the bizarre acts of human injustice that took place. Before it happened I had always had this assumption that the world operated upon a sense of natural justice. I always felt that goodness and benevolence begot joy and rewards and conversely evil and malevolence begot punishment and misfortune. Suddenly, on June 16th, 2003, an epiphany struck me that destroyed that aforementioned assumption and unveiled the truly completely unfair nature of the world.
I’ve always been a reasonable individual. I’m compliant with the law, I pay my taxes, I throw my vote this way or the other as necessary, I keep my pornography securely under my bed away from my kids, and in general I’m a goodly natured person. Hungry, and interested in haste, I entered into my local McDonald’s. All these years later my analysis has never been able to label this as a sin or some kind of injustice against humanity. I went to McDonald’s, nothing could ever be more innocent.
[This message has been edited by (edited May 13, 2004).]
[This message has been edited by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (edited May 13, 2004).]
And while a completely blank user name isn't specifically addressed by the phrase, "please use only letters and numbers"....
Okay, fine. Opinions. Ah, it's a bit labored, and yet strangely devoid of over the top satire. Still, funny for all of that. If you threw the reader a few clues to what you're doing earlier in the text, it would work better. I'm thinking of some of those Onion Point/Counterpoint bits and the Opinion pieces (by the way, if anyone knows how to get to the archived material, please let me know, the old links have been removed and the Onion gets boring pretty quick if you can't get those olden goldies). Like that one where the serial murderer is talking about how it's nice to be wanted in eight states, and it gives him a heartwarming glow to think that all those public servents want to know who he is and what he's doing right now, that's the example I'd use, but I don't know how to get it anymore. Idiot Onion ruiners.
Also, at the close, your character sort of runs out of steam. That is counter to your purpose. Yes, you want to let us know that this guy might not be in touch with reality in any meaningful way...but letting him realize that isn't the best way to get your message across (unless you go on to a tangential and highly suspect solipsist argument about being trapped in the Matrix or something like that...that would be good). Usually, people disconnected from reality show it by blandly believing things that just don't make any sense. "Yeah, I know that Micky Dee's makes their burgers using forest imps for both slave labor and meat, but who likes those creepy little imps?" Okay, you might prefer to use aliens beaming messages about local politics into your guy's mind, whatever (one thing to remember about schizophrenics, they aren't trying to be creative, so they usually aren't).
But I actually hope all the newbies take a look at it. Because this is a fine example of what often happens to newbies. They post one or two things then disappear.
WE DON'T WANT YOU TO DISAPPEAR!
Hang in there, kids. Stick with us. Good Newbies!
This board is a wealth of snippets both old and new.
I agree it is a shame that some people leave so soon.