The bard Burr set out from the Muklak village of Dudd about an hour before the rising of the sun. The main street – or rutted, muddy byway bordered by mud-brick hovels – was vacant of life, and would remain so for about another four hours. At that time, the local roosters would waddle from their sleeping places and sleepily crow, “cockle-da-doo, cockle-da-doo.” This bleary racket would awaken pigs, cows, dogs, and other domestic animals, who would in turn clamor for their breakfasts until owners and neighbors were convinced that sleep could not be recaptured
To Burr, the completely disreputable Muklaks were nothing like the civilized peoples he’d lived among previously, and definitely suffered in comparison to his own countrymen of Orallia. Living under filthy conditions, Muklaks slept late, dabbled more than worked, and ate huge ill-prepared meals (consisting mostly of lentils and chunks of unidentifiable meat). Their evenings were filled with singing lively songs, telling obscure jokes, starting dog fights, sleeping in chairs, and, in the late light of the summer, throwing rusty horseshoes at pegs in the ground. The children always seemed to be throwing dirt clods – at dogs, pigs, cats, trees, and even at their own playmates.
That a majority of the world’s best wizards came from Muklak was a great puzzle to Burr, and a source of endless consternation to most other practitioners of the ethereal arts.

[This message has been edited by Lanius (edited April 14, 2005).]
 

Some interesting descriptions here, coupled with lots of possibilities for humor.

Why don't you try starting this off with the last sentence of this fragement, and keep the current 2nd paragraph in its place. Then take the info from the 1st paragraph and weave it in as you go on. That way you get an immediately interesting start, and will keep the readers attention.

mikemunsil
 

In general I think there are a lot of phrases that could be tightened up and strengthened. For example, in your first sentence, "before the rising of the sun" is wordy and awkward; simply "before dawn" would be stronger. Look at every clause and see if there are words you can eliminate or consolidate. Another example: in "That a majority..." the word "that" is weak, and you've buried the subject of your sentence deep in the middle. Move "Burr" up to the beginning of the sentence. (Something like "Burr had never understood why the majority of the world's best wizards came from Muklak." maybe.) Those two are just examples; I see a ton of opportunities to remove clutter to make stronger and clearer sentences.

Like Burr I am curious about why the great wizards come from this slovenly town. It's a decent beginning; just needs tightening.

Why is the character thinking these things as he is leaving, other than in reference to that last sentence? Make it first so that the rest of your story has more purpose.