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Ramwa felt the men coming up behind her before she could see them. She remained sitting, absolutely still, in the tall grass. The yala petals were dissolving in her mouth, and the yala power filled her mind with color: all the flowers in the meadow seemed to glow with the vibration of life. They practically sang to her, in vivid oranges and yellows. The yala told her there was a wild rabbit hidden in the tall grass nearby, his delicate nose twitching with fear, waiting for the men to pass. Everything was alive with color, but the men were blank, empty spaces where there should be life.
They crept slowly toward her. The Yala petals had completely dissolved, and now Ramwa began to hum, quietly, a simple melody, calling to the grasses of the meadow, and
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Thanks!
Also, just some nit picky suggestions.
ADDITIONS in caps, [removals] in brackets:
Ramwa felt the men coming up behind her before she could see them. She SAT STILL[remained sitting, absolutely still,] in the tall grass. The yala petals DISSOLVED [were dissolving] in her mouth, and THEIR [the yala] power filled her mind with color: all the flowers in the meadow seemed to glow with the vibration of life. They [practically] sang to her, in vivid oranges and yellows. The yala told her there was a [wild] rabbit hidden [in the tall grass] nearby, ITS [his] delicate nose twitching with fear, waiting for the men to pass. Everything was alive with color, but the men were blank, empty spaces where there should be life.
They crept [slowly] toward her. The [Yala] petals had completely dissolved, and now Ramwa began to hum, quietly, a simple melody, calling to the grasses of the meadow, and
I'm unsure about the last adverb (quietly), as to whether it's necessary or not. But ultimately it's your choice.