Of all the stone on the island, Kylie loved the giant stone griffins on the beach the most. Each was fifty feet tall, and carved from a single huge block of stone - stone of a type not found anywhere else on the island, her father said. They were lined up along the beach, facing out toward the ocean like sentinels, identical except in the pattern of their weathering.

When she was done helping her father, Kylie went down to the beach to sit among the griffins and watch the ocean. She walked to the griffin in the middle, and crawled underneath its giant breast. She loved to sit safely against the griffin's solid belly, listening to the long slow dialog between sand and sea.

Kylie heard voices coming towards her, mingled in with the cries of the gulls and the crashing sound of the waves. She scrunched herself down even smaller so that whoever it was wouldn't see her. The stone was cool and smooth against her arms and legs.

The voices grew louder and louder, but the surf was loud enough that she couldn't make out any words until the intruders were standing right next to the griffin that sheltered her.

Consider waiting a bit for the information about the stone griffins in the first paragraph. It's not really an info-dump, but I'd be much more drawn in if you got right to the tension instead of leading me quite so slowly to it. Consider beginning with the second paragraph, something like:

When Kylie was done helping her father (do what?), she went down to the beach to sit among the giant stone griffins and watch the ocean. She walked to the griffin in the middle, and crawled underneath its giant breast where she loved to sit safely against its solid belly, listening to the long slow dialog between sand and sea.

Then on to paragraph three where the tension begins to build with the approaching voices. The rest really can wait for later.

Ooh! And I love that 'long slow dialog between sand and sea.' Nice!

And I'd be willing to read, if you want me.

There was a minor clarity issue about the griffins (I prefer the spelling "gryphon", which descends more directly from the Greek origin). You fail to specify the number (I'm thinking there were probably three, though you don't really say) and their position (I'm thinking something similar to a classic "Sphinx" posture, though you don't really say that either).

Also, "Of all the stone on the island," has about three distinct meanings in this context. You could mean the type of stone itself, since you mention that this type of stone is not indigeonous to the island. You could mean "of all the stonework on the island," though none of this other stone work is mentioned. And you could mean "of all the resting/playing/hiding spots on the island," or something like that, refering to the stones by how she uses them. I really hadn't a clear idea which meanings apply, though I guess that the last, highly imprecise meaning would more or less apply. But I don't know if the more literal interpretations apply.

Anyway, it took much longer for me to explain the unclarity than you should spend on clarifying, so don't put in several paragraphs clearing everything up unless you really want to do something like that. I'd like to read the rest. Gotta find out what those voices are planning.
 

May I send you the next version, in a few weeks?