Just under 1000 words, from last week's flash challenge. Mainstream.
I'm looking for a few readers, preferably people who didn't participate in the flash last week - I really need to know if this can stand on its own, or if it only works in the context of the trigger. If you did flash last week, then I can use your help polishing this. I'm pretty happy with it, which means I'm blind to its faults.
This contains a little bit of language some people might find objectionable.
It's only 1000 words, so I'll just give you the first paragraph, instead of the full 13.
The summer before he went to college, Mike got a job at the hot dog stand down at the amusement park. God, that job sucked. Standing in that hot little booth all day, wearing the stupid paper hat, smelling like hot dogs, no one to talk to but the other employees. Most of them were losers who'd worked there for years. They'd probably work there the rest of their lives, too. Stupid job.
Posted by wbriggs (Member # 2267) on :
I'll read. (Didn't do the challenge.)
Posted by Spaceman (Member # 9240) on :
Ditto.
Posted by Beth (Member # 2192) on :
thanks!
spaceman, I don't see your e-mail address in your profile - what address would you like me to use?
[This message has been edited by Beth (edited May 30, 2005).]
Posted by GZ (Member # 1374) on :
I'll read. I did the challenge last week, but I didn't get a chance to read this story then, so I've still got fresh eyes even if I do know the trigger.
Posted by Void (Member # 2567) on :
Hi Beth! I read this story in the challenge. I think it already does stand on it's own. I'm not sure where you were planning on submitting this, but JBSkaggs might be interested in it for the next issue of his magazine.
Posted by Beth (Member # 2192) on :