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The humans and the Terrans encountered each other on the 29th February 2244. The two races formed an alliance. They dealt with threats from each other’s side and because of cross marriages, soon became a single race. Parts of the Galactic Alliance call themselves Terrans, the others call themselves humans.
In 2389, the Alliance flagship, the G.A.V. Odyssey, led by Richard McMahon, an old grey-haired man and his son, James, encountered the Tuath de Dannan, a tall humanoid race. Admiral Walter Voorhees decided to make them members of the Galactic Alliance. The Tuath de Dannan decided to keep in communication. They returned to their homeworld, Zillion.
Four years later, no one had heard from the Tuath de Dannan.
The first 13 lines of a short story? Not likely. This is far too far away from the action, we are too far removed for there to be any short story obviously coming.
THe first 13 lines of a novel? Still too far removed from the action.
The first 13 lines of a plot summary?
Ah, I see what this is. This is the first 13 lines of the background to a story. This is the kind of information the author should know but if the reader needs to know the information will be spread through the story, after the action starts.
I do get confused if Terrans and Humans are different people from different planets. Terran means from Earth (Terra in Latin).
I would get a lot closer on the action, like a single person's perspective rather than start with a galactic history lesson.
I found the explanation about humans and Terrans faintly confusing, since in much SF earth is refered to as "Terra" and "Terrans" is commonly used as interchangeable with humans.
Using the Tuatha de Danaan - a celtic lift - along with a character called Voorhees immediately dropped me into Julian May territory, as well. You can get away with one, probably, but not both.
And yes, this is meant to be a prologue, but as I said, I didn't really think it through, I was just jotting down stuff after my exams.
Richard McMahon is one of the more significant characters in the story, but Voorhees isn't. Perhaps I should just say the Galactic Council decided to make them Alliance members?
Yeah I know the Terrans are another way of saying human, but I was thinking of having Terrans as humans from our sister galaxy (whatever it's called), and they encountered each other, and soon became an alliance, then soon became a race.
Kapish?
quote:
Yeah I know the Terrans are another way of saying human, but I was thinking of having Terrans as humans from our sister galaxy (whatever it's called), and they encountered each other, and soon became an alliance, then soon became a race.
I can pretty much guarantee that whatever the "sister race" is called, absolutely none of this information will be necessary in the first 13 lines. Unless the plot of the story is ethnic conflict within the Demi-human race, we don't even need to know at any time during a short story that the race is or is not pure human. If its a novel, it might be something to add for flavor or to cover a sub plot, but for a short story, this is not useful.
[This message has been edited by pantros (edited November 16, 2005).]
