[This message has been edited by pixydust (edited December 08, 2006).]
 

"With...I so hungry..." -- that would be "me."

>Now that he’s needed he sets us free?
Sets us free? Huh?

>I kicked at a pile of snow in frustration. White flakes falling from the sky, and ice tears burned my eyes.
Ice tears? Oh. How about "freezing tears"?

They're outside?

>Drunk bastard. Never was any good. If he’d only left years ago, before the bruises he’d pounded onto my skin had sunk into my heart.
MC seemed younger before this statement. How old?

>Anger filled me, like a swift fire, burning out the cold surrounding me on this mountain where he’d abandoned us to die. Hell if I’d give him the satisfaction.

They're on a mountain? Why are they on a mountain?

--

I would say "easy fix" -- tell us up front where we are, why we're there -- but even so, it might be better to start a little earlier. (You start at the *end* of a scene, with one of the characters leaving.) I imagine a couple of ways of dealing with it:

*The conversation that led to Pa leaving, with 5-year-old? 12-year-old? MC listening and getting panicked

or maybe Pa's a coward, and just left without telling anybody. MC was doing such-and-such, and saw Pa take off w/o a word to anybody. But depending on the situation this might be an odd interpretation -- maybe he's gone off to get firewood, or help, or check his rabbit traps.
 

I forgot I was putting this at the polish challenge in the SSC over at LH. Der.