Here it is. Sorry it's so close to the deadline. And Happy Holloween.
“She’s not right for you, you know.” Jeremy looked away and out the window to the back of another dorm. Tom started again. “You know I’m right. Why? Well for one she will probably like this ‘apocalyptic taco mix’ thing. You know spicy stuff. And you’re more, well not plain, but, um. Stodgy. Not that that’s a bad thing. But you are predictable” Jeremy got up and started sorting bottles for recycling and for disposal. “Like how you were so shocked when I had Sarah spend the night. You couldn’t even stay over. Or when we went to that Indian place and the curry was too much for you. Curry.” Tom got up from the desk pilled with unread and unwritten
(end of 13)
Posted by nitewriter (Member # 3214) on :
You're starting in the wrong place. There is no conflict, or even hint of conflict here unless someone is about to suffer from an apocalyptic gas attack. This is an ordinary setting with ordinary people engaged in ordinary conversation. Give us something to bite on, something to grab our interest. It has to be more than an exotic taco mix.
Posted by InarticulateBabbler (Member # 4849) on :
Should of posted in the writing challenges thread.
