Forgive me. he thought. Grant's A.F. shuttle slowly descended towards the bulbous mass that had given humanity so much false hope. In his head it screamed and clawed at his mind. The dull gun metal tip of his ship began glowing hot red as it passed into the creatures atmosphere.A burning cigar dropping into a pile of trash.Terrible images of all of thought who would die for his actions flashed through his mind. His friends. His son. Himself. In his last moments of life, he looked back at how this thing had destroyed what it meant to be human.
quote:
Forgive me. he thought. Grant's A.F. shuttle slowly descended towards the bulbous mass that had given humanity so much false hope. In his head it screamed and clawed at his mind
Perhaps make it a little clearer here that the thing is a creature.
quote:
A burning cigar dropping into a pile of trash.
I would couch this in the main characters actual thoughts rather than just sticking it in there.
quote:
Terrible images of all of thought who would die for his actions
All of those?
I find it interesting, especially the fact that there is apparently a planet or moon sized, apparently telepathic being involved.
Don't rely on other people's interest!