This is topic the vanishing basement - new version in forum Fragments and Feedback for Short Works at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.


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Posted by arriki (Member # 3079) on :
 
The adventure began on Wednesday on the way home from school. Tommy started it when he said, “Today in class Mrs. Whitcomb spent a whole hour going through how to build bomb shelters in people’s basements. How stupid is that?”
“Yeah,” Roger agreed, glad they were walking home together like they used to before Tommy started middle school.
Tommy went on, “I don’t even believe in basements. You know -- tooth fairies, Easter Bunnies, Santa...basements – only babies believe in that stuff.”
“The big store downtown has a basement.” Roger said tentatively as they walked along. “I’ve been there with my mom.”
“Doesn’t count. That’s a skyscraper. It’d fall over if it

[This message has been edited by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (edited May 05, 2009).]
 


Posted by Zero (Member # 3619) on :
 
I never in amillion years expected to be hooked by basements. But now I'm curious. One suggestion I will make, though, is to separate the dialog by paragraph to help clarify who the speaker is. You probably had it all indented nicely and the stupid UBB code didn't understand that. So I recommend putting a blank line between new paragraphs like so:

"What are you talking about, John?"

"None of your business."

"Then why are you tapping me on the shoulder and speaking so loudly?"


 


Posted by arriki (Member # 3079) on :
 
Like this?

The adventure began on Wednesday on the way home from school. Tommy started it when he said, “Today in class Mrs. Whitcomb spent a whole hour going through how to build bomb shelters in people’s basements. Basements! How stupid is that?”

“Yeah,” Roger agreed, glad they had gotten off the school bus together like they used to before Tommy started middle school.

Tommy went on, “I don’t even believe in basements. You know -- tooth fairies, Easter Bunnies, Santa...basements – only babies believe in that stuff.”

“The big store downtown has a basement.” Roger said tentatively as they walked along. “I’ve been there with my mom.”

“Doesn’t count. That’s a skyscraper. It’d fall over if it

[This message has been edited by arriki (edited May 05, 2009).]

[This message has been edited by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (edited May 05, 2009).]
 


Posted by Owasm (Member # 8501) on :
 
I grew up in Northern California. There were no basements in any of the houses. I guess it was because the ground never froze. So the impact of the opening doesn't get me going.

Also, if the teacher is talking about basements in houses, at least she knows they exist.

You'll need more to get me hooked.


 


Posted by tnwilz (Member # 4080) on :
 
This is another with a slow easy hook, but I'd read on because I know your work. Dialog is fine and proceeding nicely in a Philip K. Dick sort of way. I'll read if it's ready.

Tracy
 


Posted by tchernabyelo (Member # 2651) on :
 
"I grew up in Northern California. There were no basements in any of the houses. I guess it was because the ground never froze."

I'm not sure what the ground freezing or not freezing has to do with the existence of basements. In general, what will determine the presence or otherwise of basements is the nature of the ground, the type of construction material, the construction methods/tools available, and fashion.
 


Posted by Owasm (Member # 8501) on :
 
tchernabyelo -

Actually the frost line has quite a bit to do with the election to build basements. In Utah, where I live, the ground freezes in the winter. Building codes require all foundations to extend below the frost line. Building a basement is not significantly more expensive than using a different kind of foundation. In California, where I grew up, the ground never freezes, so it's significantly cheaper to have a simple perimeter foundation and use concrete piers underneath the house. Unless the house is 100 years old, it will rarely have a basement.


 


Posted by annepin (Member # 5952) on :
 
I grew up in Nor Cal, too, and while I agree basements are rare, at least five of my friends in high school had basements (and I wasn't a very popular kid.) Three of these were in new houses (post 1950). So, while maybe not the cheapest option for building, basements are still useful for storing things out of the way. Not that any of this really matters!
 
Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :
 
Height of the water table can also determine whether there is a basement or not.

We lived in Victoria, Texas (about halfway between Houston and Corpus Christi) for a couple of years, and no one built basements because the water table was so high. (Or, at least that's what we were told.)
 


Posted by Nick T (Member # 8052) on :
 

quote:
...at least five of my friends in high school had basements (and I wasn't a very popular kid.)

I have this image of a teenage girl whining to her parents "..but all the cool kids have basements!".

Anyway, I'm Australian and I grew up in the 80s in a coastal town. I don't remember anyone having basements then. In fact I don't know anyone here who has a basement. Most junk gets stored in the garage and then you end up parking your car in the street.

Nick
 


Posted by tchernabyelo (Member # 2651) on :
 
Owasm - I was thinking in a broader perspective than building codes in the continental US. There are lots of houses within the frost line, round the globe, without basements, and lots of houses outside the frost line with basements.
 
Posted by arriki (Member # 3079) on :
 
I have been thinking about the bomb shelter bit in the opening. THAT is from MY childhood and so is dated.

I'm contemplating using some trigger that is more contemporary like the teacher spending a whole class period instructing them on how and why to stock their basements (she's not from around there and, besides, this is what the lesson manual says to do) with emergency supplies. It is the ONLY option given. And Tommy is disgusted with the teacher for no realizing that NOBODY has a basement.
 




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