Here are the first 13 lines of my story entitled "The Rosetta Stone". It's about a man who is caught between the love he feels for his wife and his obsessive desire to prove to the world, along with his mentor Professor Walter Walters, the existence of the highly advanced race of beings who seeded and guided life on Earth.
“Tell me what’s so important about this site? You promised me no more wild goose chases! No more Little Green Men!” Caroline rounded on me in a fury. “Don’t you dare do this!” I continued jamming the stacks of carefully folded clothes into my bag. “Honey, this is the find of the century- the millennia. It will prove the origins of mankind and uncover our link to Atlantis, Cydonia, and the Ancients-” “No Charlie, we were agreed!” She stabbed me hard with a slender finger. “You can‘t just drop everything and take off to another remote corner of the world every time Professor Walters calls. What about your job? Boggs has already written you up twice for too many absences. Maybe it seems dull to you after all your globetrotting, but you need the work.” “I need this. We’re going to find something significant- ”
[This message has been edited by MistWolf (edited March 26, 2010).]
Posted by alliedfive (Member # 7811) on :
I like the open a lot, and would read on. No suggestions other than, "I hope it lives up to the open."
FYI, I'm pretty sure you're way over 13 lines.
Posted by MistWolf (Member # 9049) on :
Alrighty, off to the chopping block then
Posted by NoTimeToThink (Member # 5174) on :
Good dialog. I'd like some more physical specifics - for example, what part of Charlie was his wife's finger stabbing? Otherwise, good.
Posted by tngcas (Member # 8018) on :
I liked it and found it interesting.
The only comment is: I had to re-read the first line a few times to figure out that 'me' wasn't the one talking.
Other than that it looks promising.
[This message has been edited by tngcas (edited March 27, 2010).]