"Wizard's bend the rules of reality, I break them."
Or
"Wizard's warp reality, I take it to the logical conclusion by breaking them."
or
"Pathetic Sorceror's and pitiful Wizard's, thinking in their arrogance and hubris that by merely playing with the rules that govern the fabric of reality they possess the power of the cosmos within the palms of their hands... They know Nothing! They onlybend the rules reality; I on the other hand, Break Them!."
I'm basically trying to fashion the singular line of dialogue that sums up a character of mine for my story(s) from which all further characterization draws upon.
[This message has been edited by B. Elison Bradley (edited August 20, 2010).]
[This message has been edited by B. Elison Bradley (edited August 20, 2010).]
Posted by Meredith (Member # 8368) on :
quote:"Wizard's bend the rules of reality, I break them."
Succint and to the point.
quote: Or
"Wizard's warp reality, I take it to the logical conclusion by breaking them."
Break what? What, in this case, is "them"? This one isn't even in agreement with itself.
quote: or
"Pathetic Sorceror's and pitiful Wizard's, thinking in their arrogance and hubris that by merely playing with the rules that govern the fabric of reality they possess the power of the cosmos within the palms of their hands... They know Nothing! They only bend the rules reality; I on the other hand, Break Them!."
Made me immediately think of The Incredibles---"I can't believe you got me monologuing."
I vote for number one.
Posted by B. Elison Bradley (Member # 8907) on :
past midnight, wasn't thinking straight should have been "logical conclusion by breaking reality."
Posted by Strychnine (Member # 9207) on :
Without any context to go with the line, I like the first one best. It is concise. The second line doesn’t make sense to me, but it’s just a grammar error. Perhaps something like this:
” "Wizard's warp reality, I take it to the logical conclusion and tear it apart at the seems.”
Again without any context, I think that would work as well. The third one appears too wordy, but if that is how the character speaks, go with it. I have a character that would have taken about three more lines to say it.
Again without any context it is hard, at least for me, to tell you which is best.
Posted by B. Elison Bradley (Member # 8907) on :
A sorta Subversion of a Cosmic Horror character who if he ever got out of his prison would mean assured deicide of all higher level beings with as a side effect being that significant portions of the universe will be burnt to ashes in the wake of his release. The subversion being that physically speaking is a fairly small of stature unassuming individual with a penchant for philosophical conversation.
Hiding beneath this is of course a typhoon of rage and frustrated ambition, doomed to his fate of being inevitably checked at every attempt of escape and yet simultaneously certain to one day escape and make his permanent mark on the cosmos and aware of all of this unable to move to change his own destiny, a prisoner of his own power just as much as he is his own greatest benefactor, made worse by that he was originally a mortal magic-user who was made aware of all of this then and thus simultaneously exists in the past, present, and future for all time, everything per-determined and inescapable.
I'm trying to aim for something/someone who on the surface is as far removed from Cthultu or Hastur as a ant is from a Human but underneath, the implications of his very existence meets the criteria bone chillingly perfectly, a contradictory existence.
Posted by B. Elison Bradley (Member # 8907) on :
To put it shortly, a Cosmic Horror is a being who merely looking at it fills you with a sense of wrongness about the being with words along being insufficient to describe it. My character the feeling is still there but without the physical visual clues that would associate itself with it, no way of telling just by glancing that this is an unspeakable evil from beyond he just is.
In a sense walking up to him you would get a feeling of the uncanny valley but you wouldn't be able to tell yourself why even when speaking at length with him.
Posted by Osiris (Member # 9196) on :
I vote #1 as well. Efficiency is elegance.
Posted by shimiqua (Member # 7760) on :
I vote number three. I think number one is an awesome line, so awesome in fact that I want to like the character who said it.
Number three reads a little long, but it clearly shows the thought process, and the characterization. I know who this character is, and I know I shouldn't like him and that Tim Curry could play him in the movie version.
I suggest a trim though, "Pathetic Sorceror's, thinking in their arrogance that by merely playing with the fabric of reality they possess the power of the cosmos within their hands... They know nothing! They only bend the rules reality; I, on the other hand, break them."
Number two is confusing.
Good luck, ~Sheena
[This message has been edited by shimiqua (edited August 20, 2010).]
Posted by WouldBe (Member # 5682) on :
The first is good, except that it is a run-together sentence. I suggest a semicolon.
You might consider combining 1. and a trimmed-down 3, something like:
"Wizard's bend the rules of reality; I break them."
<possible nod or acknowledgment from whomever Wiz is talking to>
"They think that by playing with the rules that govern the fabric of reality they possess the power of the cosmos. They know nothing."
I'd shy away from bold type, and use exclamation marks sparingly.
Good luck with it.
Posted by NoTimeToThink (Member # 5174) on :
The 3rd is best. The 1st line is too concise and much of a throw-off for a character as weighty as you are saying he is. There's definitely an attitude, an obnoxious arrogance and superiority in the 3rd that fits.
Posted by babooher (Member # 8617) on :
Without knowing the rest, I prefer the first offering.
Posted by InarticulateBabbler (Member # 4849) on :
Wizards are fools who believe twisting a few cosmic laws make them all-powerful. How Pathetic. I have no laws. Posted by Osiris (Member # 9196) on :
My problem with the third is you have to earn my belief in the weightiness of this character. Otherwise it comes off as unbelievable. For me, weighty actions must precede the weighty words.
Posted by DerekBalsam (Member # 8471) on :
Just a thought: if you're trying to establish character, is there a way you could show the character through action instead? E.g. show him breaking the rules of reality?
That is, unless the way he speaks is very distinctive and helps to establish character.
Posted by B. Elison Bradley (Member # 8907) on :
Its not so much that he says this, its more that its something that to me he would say and seem in character, a singular line that I can use as a point of comparison If he would say this, would he say or act like that? Its not even so much that he actually says this so much as me trying to find a single line that defines enough of the character, in abstract that I can go back and compare everything he says or does with this line and its all in character.
Posted by KayTi (Member # 5137) on :
Not sure if anyone has pointed this out yet - but I assume your character is speaking about wizards in general, not one specific dude called Wizard. If so, then it would be Wizards. Not Wizard's (which would imply something belonging to a dude named Wizard.)
My preference is for the first, but with a hard stop between the two thoughts.
Wizards bend the rules of reality. I break them.
It's factual and succinct. Sounds best to me, but i don't like overly flowery stuff.
Posted by SavantIdiot (Member # 8590) on :
First one, easy, I thought. And it's Wizards, no apostrophe. I bet you caught that already. It's good, succinct and punchy. Very clear.