The Gravity chamber on my rifle hummed with excitement. I had spent nearly 5 months designing and building this rifle. But now it sat ready for its first test. I was pretty nervous, seeing as this was my only chance at getting a weapons contract. Slowly I picked up the rifle and brought the stock to my shoulder. Staring down the barrel, all i saw was a little black dot, a head on a target. I took one big breath, exhaled, and pulled the trigger. There was no pop. No smoke. No rush of air. Just a small hum. To tell you the truth, i didn't know if it worked or not. -----------------------------------------------------------------
Any ideas for a title??? Any improvements???
Posted by Threebrain (Member # 9499) on :
Titles: Future Gun Silent Killer The Quietest War Ever The Assassin's Dream
Also can a rifle get excited? Not sure because it's not alive. Perhaps as if excited or like it was excited.
Only chance at a contract made me wonder why. maybe, this was my last chance -- too many failures. Something that explains why it's his only chance because that's an extreme situation.
Good story so far.
[This message has been edited by Threebrain (edited May 10, 2011).]
Posted by Tavmanian devil (Member # 9506) on :
Thank you. Redo of the pieces you gave me:
The Gravity chamber on my rifle hummed with a faint buzz.
I was pretty nervous seeing as this was my last chance. There were just too many failures.
[This message has been edited by Tavmanian devil (edited May 10, 2011).]