This is topic The Scrub in forum Fragments and Feedback for Short Works at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.


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Posted by pidream (Member # 9544) on :
 
I submitted a few lines of this awhile back and was wondering if anyone would like to read the finished story?

Fear is a tool. It has many uses and can take on many shapes. Today, it came in the shape of Wendell Jammeren, known un-affectionately to us scrubs and opposing teams as the Jammer. Facing off against him was always the same. Heart hammering so loudly you barely heard the quarterback grunt the audible, then the snap and you knew the hurt was coming. His shoulder buried in your chest, air exploding from your lungs, and the jarring pancake landing.
All this rushed through my mind as I shifted my weight forward and balanced one hand against the turf. Big eyes, Jimmy! Then a trickle of blood flowed from Jammer’s nose . . . but it wasn’t, unless blood came in a bright shade of purple. His features sagged and twisted like someone wearing robber’s stocking mask.
 
Posted by babygears81 (Member # 9745) on :
 
How many words, pidream? I'm looking to do a swap myself, but its a shorty (916). I'm willing to critique a longer one as long as its not more than 10,000. Let me know.
 
Posted by Denevius (Member # 9682) on :
 
i'm curious of the word count too. if it's not too much, i'll take a look.
 
Posted by pidream (Member # 9544) on :
 
It's 5800 words. Want a look?
 


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