Hatrack River Writers Workshop: Herschel Kriege, 65 at Every Day Fiction

This is topic Herschel Kriege, 65 at Every Day Fiction in forum Hatrack Writers - Publications & Reviews at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by rich (Member # 8140) on :

Didn't know when this thing was going up, and checked my email this morning...Anyway, it's up, and so far it's looking like the least liked story in awhile. Ah, me public.

Check it out if you don't need that four minutes of your life back.

http://www.everydayfiction.com/herschel-kriege-65-by-richmond-weems/

Posted by snapper (Member # 7299) on :

Just read it. Whoa.

Posted by JenniferHicks (Member # 8201) on :

I liked it. Dark, but good.

Posted by rich (Member # 8140) on :

Thanks, guys. I read yours, too, Jennifer. Good stuff, well done.

Posted by Nick T (Member # 8052) on :

Hi,

Congratulations. I liked it.

You've definitely provoked a bit of debate, so I'd call it a success. There's nothing worse than being ignored...

Regards,

Nick

[This message has been edited by Nick T (edited April 02, 2010).]

Posted by rich (Member # 8140) on :

Thanks, Nick. I don't think it's so much a debate as people were just thrown by the ending, and it ruined it for a lot of people.

Posted by Nick T (Member # 8052) on :

Hi Rich,

Well, I consider a debate to be "That ending rocked!" and "That was the worse ending ever!" I wish I could inspire that kind of passion (or indeed any passion) with my writing.

Nick

Posted by Violent Harvest (Member # 9038) on :

The story seems a little emo, and very flat. I can't say that I saw the ending coming, but I also can't say that I was satisfied when my mind registered halfway through and I found myself thinking "Oh, surely he didn't go with THAT"... but you did.

I'm a horror writer and I like shocking or outrageous plot twists, and I'm more prone to read onward if something takes a weird or disturbing turn, but this was just so thoroughly dissatisfying to me.

I CAN see how some would like it, however.

Posted by rich (Member # 8140) on :

Hey, thanks for reading anyway, Violent. I do appreciate you taking the time to give it a shot.

And thanks again for the kind words, Nick.

Posted by honu (Member # 8277) on :

Awesome, Sir Richard!!

Posted by billawaboy (Member # 8182) on :

Interesting. Very well written - terse and completely absorbing.

Of course this kind of story demands analysis, lol.

SPOILER WARNING

One guess of the 'meaning' of this piece is that this guy is sort of an "Al Bundy" type - his last ironic act of ending his total misery is to be completely anti-JohnWayne-like, perhaps as an act of defiance against his wife - a man who could no longer take second place to his wife's masculine ideal and so became it's exact opposite. (And perhaps used her chemo to justify his act.)

Or is this about 'lack of communication' between people that lead one to think they are trapped and then do crazy things. Or maybe it has something to do with Herschel being Jewish while being asked to portray a gentile by his wife in the most intimate way? Maybe the new health bill has medicare not cover Miriam's chemo at her age, and his was an act of mercy? I dunno.

One thing I really wondered was if he was pissed off at her (which I first assumed) then why wait to shoot her in the back of the head - if he disliked her making him do those things, wouldn't he want to shoot her face-front with the catharsis of telling her why? Or did he really just want to spare her the suffering from chemo and then kill himself since he had no other purpose? Is that a John-Wayne-like duty and sacrifice - like to kill a suffering animal? Still, it did seem he took the gun after he was pissed off at her...

Or - is it just a piece meant to really screw with peoples minds, and it has no real meaning other that to just to juxtapose tragic sweetness with violence?

Thanks for messing with my mind, rich. Good story.

[This message has been edited by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (edited April 12, 2010).]

Posted by Meredith (Member # 8368) on :

Wow, billawaboy, your analysis was almost as long as the story!

Posted by billawaboy (Member # 8182) on :

lol, true, i seem to be writing longer posts of late. It's my rush to write it all during commercials before my show comes back, so I don't edit it down anymore - I just click post. Probably should cut stuff out.

Posted by rich (Member # 8140) on :

billawaboy,
Yes.

And thanks again, guys, for the comments and taking time to read it.